I feel that men who wear solid white-coloured trousers are very confident men. Perhaps a little too confident if I were to be a bit more critical. Hmm…but that is not what I want to talk about today.
Today I want to talk about the conclusion I have recently come to draw after a series of very annoying events that happened in my life.
Firstly, the conclusion I made is: people are going to treat you based on the negatives they see in your life, whether or they are your fault, rather than judge you based on the positives in your life, even when they are not your achievements.
Do you guys understand me? Ok I think that sentence is a bit too complicated. So uh like, if you come from a poor background, people are going to look down on you. Even though the poorness of your family is not necessarily your fault right? You were just born into the family, you didn’t contribute to the initial cause of the poorness right? But people don’t care about all that. As long as you don’t wear the more expensive shoes or drive the more luxurious cars, automatically their eyes will move up to the top of their foreheads when they talk to you.
Similarly, when you come from a rich background, people are going to praise you, to respect you, to worship you, even though, as I mentioned, your family’s wealth didn’t/doesn’t actually come from your doings. You are only using your parents’ wealth in your life, to purchase expensive shoes and luxurious cars. But do people care about all that? Nope.
I wonder what gives anyone the permission or right to treat someone without respect? Or even the slightest of acknowledgement?
Two scenarios happened to me in the past month.
Scenario 1
I have this uncle who I was quite close to when I was young. I used to attend dance classes (yes, stop laughing please) at this karaoke club and my uncle was a member of that club as well. So we often met and he would always joke with me, talk to me and even present me with occasional gifts.
However, soon I stopped my classes and just like that we never met anymore. Ok not never, but certainly not every week or even every month. We met only probably twice a year? And those meetings were during family gatherings which all of us had to attend.
So anyway soon enough we became as not close as two relatives can possibly be and now, we can’t even hold a conversation.
During the second to last recent meeting I had with him last month; it was a family lunch, we had met at the restaurant. As he walked past me (because I arrived first and was already seated) I called out to him, “Hi, Uncle,” and he completely and whether deliberately or not, I don’t know, ignored me. He didn’t even acknowledge my existence and he just continued to walk past me and greet other people.
I was damn upset after that because why the hell would he ignore me, correct or not. What wrong could I have possibly done in his eyes, having not met him for months before that? I complained to my mum and she said that he probably didn’t hear me due to his deteriorating hearing (though I didn’t see him having any problems communicating with my other cousins). So I gave him the benefit of the doubt. After all, I’ve always been really respectful towards my elders so I don’t see what I could have possibly done to be ignored that way.
Scenario 2
About a few weeks after that meeting, we had a family gathering again; this was a dinner. My mum cooked prawn noodles and everyone was invited to come. This was at my other aunt’s house so this time, he had arrived before me. I walked into the kitchen and he was there eating. I looked to him, and he looked to me too. I greeted him once again, “Hi, Uncle,” and to my horror, he just looked away without the slightest hint of having seen/heard or acknowledging me.
After that type of greeting my mood immediately went down the drain. I had come to my aunt’s house with a happy heart because duh homemade prawn noodles were my favourite and after being treated that way, I didn’t even feel like being in the same house as he was in anymore. I just wanted to leave and go home.
But what could I do? And wouldn’t that have been childish? I bet he wouldn’t even care to notice that I’d left if I did. He’d probably even be happier I wasn’t there, since he seems to hate me so much.
Seriously, till this day, I haven’t a clue why he treats me like that. Did I unknowingly do something wrong? I don’t think I did because activities in my life rarely, or rather never concern him, in the least bit, so why is he angry at me? To this kind of extent?
Could it be because my boyfriend is Muslim and he is against that? Could it be because he was getting richer each day and I am not so I am becoming a smaller and smaller dot in his life? I seriously have no clue.
Could it be that someone has been bad-talking me behind my back? I don’t know who would bad-talk me and I couldn’t think of something I’ve done that is so bad that it would cause my uncle to hate me so much, seriously. If it was a cousin hating me, it’d be much more possible. Like they could hate the way I dress or the fact that I post too many food photos on Instagram or whatever. But why would an uncle be concerned about those things right?
I’m seriously baffled. The closest conclusion I could come to make was because of his wealth and my non-existent wealth. Because before this, his children (my cousins) have ignored me and my sister before too during family gatherings and we always assumed it was because of how we weren’t rich enough thus didn’t deserve to be in their league of relatives wtf.
With the other cousins, they would be fine. They wouldn’t ignore them or whatever. Only with me and my sister. What did we ever do to deserve this type of treatment? Even if it’s because of our apparent poorness, it is technically not our faults that we are poor, right? Even if they have feuds with our parents, those also aren’t our faults right? So why are we the ones being treated this way? (They don’t ignore my parents, probably because of PR. But with kids, they wouldn’t bother much about maintaining good relationships right. That’s probably why.)
I just wish people would be more objective in the way they choose people to ignore.
