Who is this girl?

Who was that girl who used to have such a strong personality?

Who was that girl who used to have such a strong stand of principals in her life?

Who was that girl who used to only do things she approved of, and never give in to temptation?

Who was that girl who would never go against her own beliefs?

Who am I right now?

Why have I changed?

Why am I doing things that I would never do last time?



Sometimes I wonder if the things I do right now, the sinful ones (such as talking rudely to parents, lying etc) would cast a reflective impact on me in my future undertakings.

But if I were to live my life differently than I am doing right now, I can state with certainty that I would have to miss out on alot of happiness I currently feel.

But then some would advise me that there are more happiness along the way of life, and even if you miss out something by taking the left route, the experiences that the right route brings to you might be able to give you the same amount of satisfaction as well.



If I had done things differently, would I be the same girl I am today?

Would I be as passionate as I am now?

As worrisome as as I am now?

As STUPID as I am now?



I don't want to do things that I might regret later on.

About a few months ago, I had this thought and it stood damn strongly at the back of my brain. I wanted to stop whatever I was doing, because I knew I was just going to regret it one day.

But as time passed by, I realised that it isn't regret that I am bound to feel in future, it is disappointment. Because even though the outcome that I wish for is obviously going to be really far from what is BOUND to happen, I secretly still wish for my dream to come true.

I no longer think I would regret the moments I spent with great happiness, just because I know one day the outcome would be against my wishes.

Because what I look for in life, is happiness, whether temporary or long-lasting, it doesn't matter. As long as I am happy in what I am doing, I am going to continue doing it and let things fall into place naturally.

Nobody would understand what I am talking about, and nobody has to either.

So just let me express my feelings once in a while. I don't need to be comforted, or chastised. I just need to be heard.

And I love you.

Chuz.

Little updates! :D

I know I've mentioned so many times that I never want to leave my blog unattended for too long but in the end I still let it happen.

Please don't look at the date of the last post. I feel very embarrassed to know that I have neglected poor joeyjoeldavid.blogspot.com for THAT long. lol

But it is totally not my fault because so much has happened since then!

For one, I didn't get into any local Us through UPU and obviously I didn't get JPA's scholarship. So the last resort is, I am going to go to Form 6! I am sincerely quite excited at the prospect of starting school again, as I am going to have loads of friends as my classmates! 8D

And thankfully I bought my Form 6 uniform and having tried them on, didn't make me feel ugly! I look quite nice in them so it's all that matters LOL.

Also, considering I'm starting school TOMORROW,



yesterday was my last day of work at Padini Authentics Bukit Raja! ):

Well, technically, it was my LAST day, but then next Saturday Eileen requested for my help to work one more noon shift and I agreed.

But then it is still quite a hard thing for me to do, to leave PABR. I have spent about 5 months there. It is a very painful thing to just rip apart from something you hold so dearly you know.

I love working there. I'm going to miss my colleagues so much. ):

But life has to go on! Until you reach the peak of achievement!



Like when you go hiking in Broga Hills, make sure you reach the highest peak and not give up at the first peak!

Even though that was exactly what I did when I went hiking there but I couldn't help it! If I continued any further than the first peak I swear I would have died of exhaustion!

But then the hike was a very fun experience so kudos to Mr Ben Lim for bringing me there! :D


Next update!



Mohd Fauzi Samsudin got involved in an accident last Tuesday!!!! He was knocked by a car on the way to work on his motorcycle and he was thrown off his seat onto the rough and hard cement ground!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

When I got the news I immediately died on the spot and only regained consciousness when I realised that he was alright, since he was the one who reported about the accident to me.

But it was really gruesome to receive such news especially when I was in the middle of a sleep okay!

Thank God he is alright.

Oy budak. Bawak motor tu baik2 la... rempit sane rempit sini.. eeesh eeesh eeesh....

And then he's going to answer: But I'm innocent! ):

Lol. So cute.


NEXT UPDATE!!!



CONGRATULATIONS TO CHERRIE LEE FOR GETTING AWARDED THE JPA SCHOLARSHIP TO GO TO UK!!!!!

Oh my God I am so happy for you!!!!! I really don't know what I can say to accurately express how happy I am for you but just just.. CONGRATULATIONS GIRL! You're awesome! ;)



So.....

I'm going to school tomorrow. Wish me luck guys. ACS Form 6.

And don't forget me! Or my blog! ;)

Chuz!

I'm 18.

I don't know why but all of a sudden I feel like I've done alot of growing up since my school life last year. Ever since I've finished my SPM exams, I have always felt like I'm almost halfway to something. A bit closer to what they call the actual purpose of your existence in this world.

Maybe it's because I've always felt like I'm more mature than most of the friends I have my age, but when I stepped out of high school life, I seriously and finally got the feeling that; yes, I feel in control, mature and sensible.

Okay so maybe not sensible, but grown up enough to know how to take care of myself, to make decisions, to judge a particular situation without any emotional involvement.

Especially so after I have started working. Throughout my working experience, I have learnt so much that it is impossible to summarise everything into this single blog post. They aren't things that are mentionable or explainable even, but they are things that I have learnt. Things that have taught me indirectly about various other things. And I'm talking in circles now because there really is no way to explain exactly what I have learnt throughout this (almost) five months of working.

Because throughout this whole experience, I have met so many people, dealt with so many situations and the best part is: handling them and solving my problems all on my own. Unlike school, everything has been planned and penned down for you. All you have to do is follow. And when a problem arises, there always is someone out there to help you solve your problems.

I will not say that I have learnt nothing in high school, because in fact I have also learnt so much from there. My high school life formed my personality now, and now that I am out from the safety bounds of school, I'm put here in the public to test out my personality. To see if it is socially acceptable, likable and tolerable.

And so far, life has been good for me, because I've come across alot of new people, great people who are simply just interesting to be around. I've also come to realise that the way high school has formed me is what I have always wanted to be all along: likable and acceptable. I am not blowing my own trumpet by saying that alot of people seem to want to hang out with me, but that is just what I sincerely feel about myself.

There are actually so many things that I wish I can just come out and say, to share with the world. But right now, sensible Jo-Yee really thinks it isn't the time yet.

Let time tell, they say. And I agree.

Let's hope that when it finally comes, I would still be able to reveal everything with as much, if not more, happiness and gratitude as I feel right now.

And I love you.

Chuz.