Jo-Yee says!

This is the last message he sent to me as my boyfriend. If you notice it, this is dated 15 June 2011.

Three days later, 18 June 2011, he broke up with me.

I’ve never quite understood what is going on his mind.

Or what WAS going on in his mind in the three days before he broke up with me.

How could he send such a sweet message to me one morning and then break up with me three days later?

What happened in those three days?

These are things that I would really like to know.

15 June 2011 was Wednesday. That Friday, 17 June 2011, he came back from Pahang.

And he didn’t even inform me. I was still his girlfriend that time and I just couldn’t believe he could hide something like this from me.

If I was such a nuisance, such a burden to him, that when he came back to Klang he didn’t even want to meet me, to the extent that he tried to hide this from me, WHY DIDN’T HE BREAK UP WITH ME EARLIER?

Why still send such sweet messages to me?

I seriously didn’t know what was going on his mind.

Even until today I am still confused.

I gave him so much, I sacrificed so much for him, I did so much for him. And he could hurt me like that without feeling guilty.

I got angry that he tried to hide the fact that he had come home from me, and I threw a tantrum. And the next day, 18 June 2011, he changed his relationship status back to single.

As if I was the one who was wrong in this whole thing.

I don’t think I did anything wrong. How could he be so cruel? Why did he try to bolster my ego and then decide to grind it under his heel like I was worth nothing?

How could he do that to me, after all we’d been through? After all this time?

Thinking back thoroughly of the way he treated me, I realise that he had done so much to hurt me and just so little to make me happy.

But why am I still so attached to him?

Why can’t I let him go?

I want to return his things to him. I seriously want to. But I just don’t understand why till this day I still cry everytime I think about that.

Everytime I am at the verge of bringing his things to be returned to him, I put the package back on the shelf. Because I’m just so hurt. I’m just so scared.

I’m so scared of what the outcome would be. I am so afraid that this is not only gonna be the end of our relationship, but also our friendship, or whatever ship we have.

I’m so scared to let him go.

Why?

Is he worth it? My brain says NO, but my heart cries and yearns for him.