Okay lah I decided I want to blog about my Cherating trip today after all!!!

FINALLY FINISHED UPLOADING ALL 40 PHOTOS TO BLOGGER.

No I didn't use image hosting webbies cos I'm scared in future my account dies or something then my photos won't appear anymore.

So instead I patiently uploaded my photos 5 by 5.

FINALLY FINISHED UPLOADING ALL. So now can start:

I didn't want to blog about this trip at first, because it is going to take AGES but then I decided I want to blog about it after all lah, since I am so free now.

Also, I think having the pictures here will also help me blog lah, cos then I wouldn't have to screw my brain up so much just to figure out what had happened throughout the whole trip! =D

Okay. MULA!

I woke up at an unearthly hour of 5am and then got ready to go fetch Xy. After that we went to school together. Xy was very groggy as usual, because she didn't sleep the whole night!!!

Must be because she was too happy to be chatting with Daryl to go to sleep...hmm...

Anyway, the bus took a 45minutes delay happily, leaving us to wait there like MORONS (as Vendrick says) because he got lost otw. -__-

So we boarded the bus, and I slept throughout the journey with my mp3 in my ears.

Okay kidding along the journey there were stops and happy chats with junk food and other unhealthy food lah...



And we arrive at MERMAID INN! In Cherating, Pahang! Very exciting because OPPOSITE THE BEACH!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



And this was (I'm gonna use past tense all the way, because I'm blogging about my experience, not the picture! People who don't give a shit about Grammar will not understand what I'm talking about but whatever lah) our chalet! Damn syok because got air-cond!!!



The beautiful beach!!! I tell you, I love to take pictures.

And I absolutely love to take photos of beaches! Because for some reason they always turn out nice!!!

I don't know if it's because of the sand, or the sea, or the sun or whatever, but my beach photos always turn out very postcard-like one!

Happy! =D



THE FIRST MEAL OF THE WHOLE TRIP!

You will notice that there is an ikan kembung on my plate.

You will also remember (as if) that I do not like to eat fish.

So why was there a fish on my plate?

The answer: I also dunno. Probably because there wasn't any other meat there, and I couldn't be satisfied with my meal without meat, I just picked up the fish to pretend it was chicken to make myself feel better.

What am I talking about?

Don't even bother figuring out. Don't waste your brain cells.

MOVING ON!



After that I ajak all 6 Bawah Setia people to go take photos at the beach!!!

The three angels (Qian Yun, Yvone, Qiu Xiang) didn't join us as usual, because they preferred to be on their own, and Mr. President VENDRICK ENG KWAN YONG also didn't join us because I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE HE WENT!

He disappeared!!!

So too bad lah sir, your own fault for disappearing so no fun photo-taking at the beach for you!



Jump shot FAIL! lol



I love this photo so much lor. Thank you Mr. Peter Tan. It is unusual for me to end up liking a photo of me taken by another person, so this is a very great compliment to you.

Because I am a very leceh person. I cannot stop complaining about people's photography skills one. Or actually, lack thereof.

LOL I sound so annoying aya whatever lah.

CONGRATULATIONS PETER! =D



Then we went to some Penyu centre.

I tell you. I actually thought we were going to witness penyu laying eggs. But in the end we only saw some video in this video room.

No penyus laying eggs. NONE.

This is a travesty! I WANT TO SEE PENYU LAY EGGS!!! PENYU PENYU PENYU!!!

Okay you will be wondering why I cannot just type TURTLES instead, but that is because I think PENYU is a very funny word.

You try to pronounce it: PENYU.

LOL not funny meh????

Okay moving on.



Oh! Yes yes, this is the place we went to!



After that we went to the smelliest place on Earth.

And where is that?

It is KILANG MEMBUAT KEROPOK LEKOR omg

Just reading that sentence also you can imagine how SMELLY it is right?

I tell you, if you think your shit is smelly, if you think Beekay toilet is smelly, if you think ACS TOILET is smelly, if you think that can of tuna you left at the back of your fridge since last 10 years is smelly, if you think a horse's mouth is smelly, if you think a Standard 4 student's school shoes are smelly, if you think you live beside a sewage system and the air you get is the smelliest in the world, then...

THINK AGAIN!!!

The Kilang Membuat Keropok Lekor is 1000 times smellier!!!



Photos to prove to you.



FUCKING SMELLY. But so delicious lol



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA

Pardon me. I just cannot stop laughing everytime I see that.

I wonder what they have at CB village. I hope it's not.......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Okay sorry I am so dirty.



After that we went back to Mermaid Inn.

We were supposed to play some games on the beach or something.

Very excited because it involved BEACH!!!

Woo-hoo!



ONE OF THE BEACH GAMES!

This game was called...wait let me think...

Kaki panjang or something hahahahahah no I made that up I forget what it's called. lol



VOLLEYBALL! Which my team won!

No we won purely based on all the member's talents combined!

What do you mean there were few school volleyball team players in our group that was why we won?

That is completely absurd!

What do you mean I just stood around with the other non-volleyball players and let the volleyball dudes help us win the game?

No such thing! Cis!



TARIK TALI!

Which our team lost purely because the other team cheated.

What do you mean there is no evidence that they cheated and we lost simply because we were too weak?

False accusations!

I say they cheated means they cheated.

*****

After that we went FISHING!!!!

Okay technically we just held on to this BIG BIG net and walked into the middle of the sea, created this BIG hemisphere with the net, and then walked back to shore to count how many fish we had caught inside our net hemisphere.

Why no photos you ask?

Because I walked into the OCEAN la siao how to take photos?

And not fair! The students went in two times and only managed to catch like 10 fish in total????? But when it was the teacher's turn they caught like 50 over fish!!!

How come like that one?????



After that we all went to bathe because everyone reeked of sea water.

And then we went over to the hammocks to see Mr Peter already waiting to eat the fish (the barbeque pit was near the hammocks) so we decided to take photos!!!

I want to mention here that I am very grateful and impressed by the person who created hammocks.

It is THE BEST THING TO SLEEP ON EVER.

And I include that in the list with David Desrosiers Mohd Fauzi Samsudin (LOL I am such a slut) Johnny Depp and my own bed.

HAMMOCK WINS HANDS DOWN.

After dinner we went to sleep!

Oh forgot to mention that the time AFTER DINNER and BEFORE SLEEP was probably the best time of this trip.

Why? Because:
1) Everyone sat around talking and laughing and bonding
2) I had a very pleasant phone call from the person I missed most throughout the trip
3) There was a super cute and aodrable kitten that suddenly jumped on me while I was on the phone!
4) The kitten manja with me and tried to bite my finger!
5) The night was damn nice because it was breezy and chilly
6) I had a very pleasant phone call from the person I missed most throughout the trip
7) I had a very pleasant phone call from the person I missed most throughout the trip
8) I had a very pleasant phone call from the person I missed most throughout the trip
9) I had a very pleasant phone call from the person I missed most throughout the trip
10) I had a very pleasant phone call from the person I missed most throughout the trip

Tomorrow! We woke up late and missed breakfast.

I also forgot to wear my swimsuit instead and wore my only remaining dry bra to go SNORKELLING.

Which would definitely wet my bra, obviously, so I ended up having NO dry bra to wear for the next day fml



Tee hee I was in the middle of the sea! Yeah right



On the very fun boat ride to Pulau Ular! No there was no snakes there.



Very pretty sceneries at Pulau Ular though. I like. :3



TIME FOR SNORKELLING!!!!

And then after that, we packed all our stuff and headed for another state! =D

TERENGGANU!!!! Angullia Beach Resort and this was our chalet!



FUCKING HATED IT.

Firstly, the room was damn SMALL.

There were only TWO beds. And one mattress.

All those had to be shared by 7 people.

Secondly, the stupid room was damn filthy. The floors were dusty, the bedsheets were full of disguting black spots and dust, and the toilet OMG THE TOILET!!! SUPER DISGUSTING the walls INFESTED WITH ANTS!!!

And when I was peeing halfway I saw a FUCKING BIG COCKCROACH NEAR THE SINK!!! I quickly ran out and almost died in fear.

I hate cockroaches.

I hate that room.

Okay to be fair Angullia Beach resort wasn't TOO bad lah. I just hated the chalet.



Sexy photo of me and Xy in bed.

LOL very suggestive sentence.

NEXT! We went to menchandat sotong!!!



In the bus! Xy looking very gloomy!

But I reminded her about SOTONG and she became excited back! Hahahahahaha



CAMWHORE!



Remember to request for room-service before you stay in their chalet. Don't scare yourself with big fat cockcoraches, it's unhealthy.

*****

TA-DAHHHH!!!



We arrive at the JETTY! =D

Jeti Pulau Kapas? Forgot liao...



THE BOAT!

Okay sorry I mean the GIRLS! lol

From left: Yi Hua, Yvone, Qian Yun, Qiu Xiang and Chen Ai!



THE BOYS!

Yen Siang, Peter and Vendrick! =D

I tell you. BOYS. B O Y S.

Got alot of ideas one.

If you are in love with them, it is not a good thing. Because then they will think of alot of ideas to hurt you.

If you are not in love with them, then it is a good thing! Because they will think of alot of ideas to make you laugh! =D



LIKE THESE 3 SIAO KIAs.

Walao I tell you, with them, you CANNOT STOP laughing one.

1) They will sing weird songs
2) They sing weird songs using weird voices
3) They make crab jokes to annoy Xy lol
4) They keep talking about pelampung to annoy Xy
5) They keep pretending to be captains of the ship
6) They are gay



FINALLY! After 1 hour plus of boat ride, we were far enough in the ocean to start fishing for sotong!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee SO EXCITED!

That's my chandat and my sexy legs.

In the end after waiting for so damn long I didn't even catch any sotong so I decided to just lie down and sleep.

Sleeping under the stars on the breezy boat with a bunch of good company was the best ever.

We were supposed to stay on the boat fishing for sotong till 5am in the morning one but then we were so jaded already (NO SOTONG cheat one!) at about 12am we told the uncle we wanted to go back to our chalet to sleep. Hehe



Tomorrow morning had the best Nasi Lemak and toast breakfast ever! Don't ask me why lah I also dunno I just love the sambal and the toast and the coffee! =D



After breakfast Xy and I went to hang out by the beach! =D

Hmm, in my opinion, the beach front at Anguilla was not as nice as the one in Mermaid Inn.

The Mermaid Inn beach was cleaner, more sunny, and the sand there was whiter. And there weren't too many people.

In Anguilla, the beach was dirty (like its stupid chalet) and there were alot of kids around. It screwed up the whole beach serenity concept because the kids were damn noisy.

Okay lah that is not valid but whatever lah Mermaid Inn beach wins!



Tee hee after that we went to some Chinese Town!

I just noticed that Terengganu Darul Iman sounds alot like Sharul Naim. LOL

Darul sounds like Sharul and Iman has the exact 4 alphabets as Naim. Hehe And Naim is from Terengganu!

*proud to have figured out this coincidence

Meh.

Meh because the town was very boring.

Only one thing interested me, and that was the damn old-school parking meter! LOL

Aya how come I didn't upload the photo here?

Cis never mind if you wanna see the photo, just go to my Facebook profile lah k?



Then we went to Pasar Mayang/Mayam?

Forgot the name.

I've been to this pasar before last time with Girl Guides so I wasn't so interested to go in there again lah.

I just even got down from the bus because I wanted to look for Mr Potato! In the end also didn't find. ):



After that on the way back we stopped by Mermaid Inn again to have lunch and to snap GROUP PHOTOS for ACS Kelab Pencinta Alam!

Hehe, meanwhile these 2 siao kias played on the swing...



Then, because we still had time to spare, we went to the beautiful beach again to play!!!

And we caught (okay the boys caught) baby crabs!!!

Everybody together now:

SO CUTE!!!!!

Hee hee.



THE SOTONG THAT WE CAUGHT!!!

Woo-hoo! I tell you, fresh sotong is really different from any other sotong.

The meat was DAMN succulent and sweet and juciy and eeeeeeeeeeee I am personally a sotong-hater but I still thought that the sotong was damn delicious.

Omg fresh sotong...... *drools



After group photo we went home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINISH this blog post finally.

Omg damn long and exhausting.

For more photos just head over to Facebook la k? ;)

Chuz!

ps: I know lah this post is too brief but don't care lah too tired d

I am back from Cherating!!!

Hello everyone! I am finally back from Cherating!!!

But basically it's not even a Cherating trip since we ended up going to a few places.

Cherating, in Pahang and we also went to Terengganu! Naim's hometown! =DDDDD

I am feeling damn lazy to blog about it now, because even uploading the photos to Facebook takes FOREVER, so I'll just leave BLOGGING about it for another time la hehe

Well, overall I had alot of fun during the trip and I came to realise alot of things.

Such as:
1) Men are such liars.
2) Men are such losers.
3) Men are such users.
4) Men act according to their lust
5) Men should not be trusted
6) Do not ever fall in love
7) Absence makes the heart grow fonder
8) Men are selfish people
9) Men have weird mood swings
10) Do not keep your hopes high when it comes to men because you're gonna get hurt more that way

So after coming back from this refreshing and very realisation-filled trip, I vow never to fall in love again, or allow myself to fall in love again, unless you know, it's TRULY the right guy.

Meaning:
1) Guys who are single
2) Guys you can meet up with easily
3) Guys who really, really, truly LOVE you
4) Guys who CAN DRIVE
5) Guys who do not ignore your calls or messages
6) Guys who will find ways to call you even when their phones are out of credit
7) Guys who appreciate you

You see. There are so many reasons to look out for when you decide to fall in love. Because it's not easy to fall in love with someone.

And when you have fallen in love with this person, but in the end you both HAVE TO break up, it is PAIN that you can never feel anywhere else. PAIN LIKE NO OTHER.

Pain that somehow feels like:
1) You wish you can DIE
2) Crying every minute of the day
3) Crying so much you are surprised your tear ducts can produce so much tears
4) Wishing you can sleep 24 hours so that you wouldn't have to think about your heartbreak
5) Everytime you think about it, you feel like stabbing yourself with a kitchen knife
6) It especially HURTS when you have to pretend that you are okay when you are clearly all broken up inside

And alot more la. So guys and girls, watch out. Love? It's some dangerous shit.

If you think I'm being immature and stupid about this, then I guess you've just never felt heartache like mine before.

Or like, you've never been hurt by someone you truly love before.

So, in short, you are not in experience to judge ME, so DON'T.

I've been through all this, and if you want to say that I'm weak, I'm NOT. Because I'm still ALIVE.

Although the first week of the heartbreak feels like HELL, feels like you NEVER want to live again, but now I'm all fine already.

I'm over that pain. (I hope)

I'll never let anyone hurt me again.

Chuz.

ps: wtf how come I end up writing about this? Aya whatever la

Stupid people...

Today right after the stupid co-curricular activity I had in school (which involved all PLKN students sharing their experiences during NS) my sister came to pick me up and we went for lunch.

We went to Aeon BTK for BBQ's Plaza because for some reason we were both craving for it, especially the super awesome butter-grilled baby corns. *dies just thinking about its awesomeness*

Anyway.

So we went to sit down at this table and after we made our orders (Supreme Pork Set and an extra oatmeal soft shell crab, yummy!), we sat down and started to talk about random stuff...

When our Supreme Pork Set (which came with two bowls of garlic fried rice as we've requested) came, we saw on the tray that the waitress was holding were two bowls of plain white rice and two bowls of garlic fried rice.

Then, the waitress (who I completely ignored because she wasn't in anyway interesting to me) started to lower down the two bowls of white rice onto our table.

Seeing that this was a mistake, since both me and my sis actually ordered garlic fried rice and not plain white rice, I politely told the young waitress that we were supposed to get the fried rice instead.

But that stupid waitress with the hair of a typical Ah Lian just cavalierly, without any expression of concern/surprise/apology in her stupid face, picked up the two bowls of white rice, lowered the fried rice instead and walked away without even looking at us.

I became damn agitated because I hate being treated this rudely ESPECIALLY by a waiter/promoter.

To add to my dislike, before this whole incident, I already witnessed how this stupid Ah Lian shouted very loudly and rudely across the restaurant at her male colleague when he was obviously just trying to joke around with her.

I knew she could have had a bad day, or even mood swings but was that any way to treat a colleague?

Just because you got YOUR problems, which are not the fault of your friend btw, doesn't mean you are allowed to show your temper and throw your stupid tantrum however you like.

So after that when I requested for the pork lards to be changed to butter, I purposefully gave that stupid Ah Lian the taste of her own medicine.

I rudely shoved the bowl of pork lards into her hands and demanded "Butter." rudely without even looking at her.

She got abit scared I think, but then she just went and got me my butter. After that, in between mouthfuls of cabbages and grilled pork, I asked for more butter, drinks to be refilled and everything, but plainly ignored to acknowledge Ah Lian's existence even though she was standing just right before me.

I purposely asked for the other waiters to serve me and I saw Ah Lian shoot me furtive looks but pretended that she didn't notice that I was ignoring her on purpose.

After that, as was my custom, I, on purpose again, spoke very loudly to my sis about how some waitresses just don't have the ability to smile, why some waitresses are so rude, how pathetic a waitress looks when she is being all emo and selfish bla bla bla...

And made sure that the Chao Ah Lian heard me.

Oh she did alright. Because when we had paid the bill and were leaving, she kind of pretentiously came to us and said "Thank you very much." (in Thai) in her most cheerful and polite way to greet us out, with a smile which made her face look oddly unrecognisable due to the lack of cheeriness the whole time we were having our meal before.

So that served her right for being rude, and now she had learnt her lesson.

Yes. What a triumphant day for me!

It is not my fault that I am being so rudely expressive nowadays when I'm faced with situations that I cannot stand or tolerate.

I mean, blame it all on Xiaxue. She thought me how to be brave in standing up for myself and not allow anyone to bully me. Through her blog posts la... Hehehe...

So people. If you think you can get away with rudeness just one day, think again because you might not know who is around the corner just crouching and waiting to fire you back with logical words/reasons which you cannot fight back to shut your mouth up.

And that will cause a mighty embarrassment for you, you loser.

Chuz.

SEX THROUGH MY EYES. (lol, very wrong sentence)

Because I am such a boring person nowadays and lead such a boring life, I am going to write about something very interesting today.

And of course, that interesting thing is:

SEX. Oh Vendrick very excited lol

So you see, what are my stands on sex? To me it's just another basic process of life. I don't think age groups can define whether or not you are old enough/should have sex because after all, it is still a very simple process and everybody knows how to do it anyway.

Don't come bull me say you don't watch porn la k. I am over that. In my life I have got this theory: All boys have watched porn before and enjoy it. Those who no longer enjoy porn are usually already attached to a girlfriend who also enjoys sex as much, and that is why when you can get on-spot treatment, what for want to rely on on-screen stuff some more?

Girls you ask? SAME. And the only time these attached sexual boys and girls resort to porn is when their other halves are busy at the moment/on-holiday bla bla bla.

And for those other outcasts who say that they do not enjoy porn, then I don't know what is wrong with you.

Okay la, let put it this way: I also don't enjoy porn very much (I watched before in some scandalous sent-around tapes of some politician ahem, and also when I went to Taiwan, there were some special channels on their TV dedicated to porn so I also watched before from there. Come on la you want to say that I'm disgusting, at least I admit lor, unlike you, watch porn but don't dare say.) but I also don't have a very sexual partner to let me indulge in on-spot actions very much. This does not mean I'm dumb cos I DO enjoy sex scenes in movies. lol

And kissing scenes. I don't know la, but there is supposed to be some chemical or hormones or whatever (don't talk to me about Science please I am now officially an Arts student) that arouse people and give us these very good feelings when we watch it.

So the world is divided into these few categories loh:
1) People who enjoy porn.
2) People who no longer enjoy porn because they can derive their own sexual pleasures physically (LOL)
3) People who are dumb (no sex drive like that Sungei Wang man who ignored my sister when she tried to flirt with him. Note that she was wearing a cleavage-revealing outfit and he did not even falter. Siao one)
4) People like me, who do not go for the hard-core but enjoy the pleasures of sex as well. ;)

But what am I trying to say? What am I trying to say is this: I don't actually think there is anything wrong with sex among couples, regardless of how long they have been together la. To me, sex is a very personal thing. Unless you are a slut, then of course you will only have sex with this guy you really, really (think you) love and trust right?

Okay please note that when I say 'have sex', I actually mean sexual activities in general and not necessarily involving the penetration of the penis into a vagina. If you flinched at my cavalier use of the words to term the female and male genitalia, then you should just close this page immediately because let's face it: you're not mature enough to handle sex la.

So back to what I'm trying to say. These days we have couples as young as 13 already. And do you think they don't kiss or make-out?

I know sexual activities cause alot of accidents such as unwanted pregnancies, emotional depression and banyak lagi la, but those young couples should be educated to be prepared to face such problems if they want to get sexually involved what right???

What we always hear people say nowadays is help educate the younger generation that sex is wrong, but then here we go establishing organisations to help the welfare of unwanted accidental babies to help clean up their mess. I know it's good for the poor innocent babies, but what does it do to educate these youngsters about pre-marital sex???

Instead of tyring to STOP these couples from having sex (which, face it la, isn't going to happen anytime soon, or ever, for that matter) why don't we start educating these people to be STRONG to handle yourself in a sexual relationship, as well as teaching them to use condoms and other birth control methods to prevent unwanted pregnancies?

In some religions of course sex is forbidden unless you're married but let's face it: how many percentage of people in this world actually give a shit about religions anymore?

I mean, I know it's good and everything, and I respect religions alot, thank you, but this is the WORLD we are talking about. Can religions really control EVERYONE and EVERYTHING they do?

So I'm not going to talk about religion. Let's assume the people I'm talking about in this whole sex post are those who do not belong to any religions.

So where was I? Yes. A different way of educating the young.

Since it is obviously futile to stop people from having sex, why don't we try to STOP the affects of sex from happening?

Like, emotional depression. Solution: include psychological education in teens's lives, teach them to be strong to face the fact that you have had sex. And also, if you are afraid, why did you do it in the first place? And if you feel guilty, then don't, because, okay la this is MY opinion, it is pleasurable what. What do we look for in this life anyway?: Pleasure. There you go. Some more if it doesn't bring about any bad affects, why not?

Okay so you say bad affects are unwanted pregnancies. Solution: Educate them to use condoms. Educate them to ejaculate outside the vagina. Teach them to use a diaphragm.

STDs? Solution: Combination of both psychological education and birth control methods. If you think your partner has STD, then don't la have sex with him kan. And also, know how to protect yourself if you are in doubt. Always remember, your safety is above all. PLAY SAFE.

And please note that through this blog post I am NOT encouraging sex, and OBVIOUSLY when I say HAVE SEX, it does not mean with multiple partners okay. I mean sex with and ONLY with the person you trust and love. So can cancel out on STDs. (because I am sure that the person you trust and love does not have STDs right???? If it's otherwise then... I got nothing to say)

I just don't know what the big deal is with sexual relationships with the person you love. It is a process of life after all what. Just make sure the people are able to carry themselves after that then all's well isn't it?

Instead of cleaning up the mess (eg: organisations set-up to adopt unwanted babies; which I think will encourage MORE unwanted pregnancies to happen, because these reckless couples know that after they give birth, they can just put their child up for adoption and won't have to resort to murder), we should really start finding ways to PREVENT this mess from happening in the first place.

It is impossible to stop people from having sex anyway, so the best solution is to educate them to be emotionally strong and mature and to have safe sex la.

It sounds really wrong in this society to say such things, and religiously opposing to alot of people, but this is just MY OPINION la. I'm not actively involved in any religion, so I'm just speaking this as a human being in general.

And I know you can't help but to agree with what I say also right?

I mean, it's just sex with the person you love. What's the big deal?

Now don't come and tell me what if the person you love is only actually someone you 'THINK you love?', 'Wouldn't you have wasted your allowance for him to have sexual activities with you?' and all those crap la because I can't control it if your mind thinks you love this person and delude you to think that he is your true love right? It all depends on YOUR CHOICE anyway, and whether or not you are strong enough to face the consequences that come along with it.

And I can personally say that I am strong enough, so if you aren't, then too bad la. The world is a big pot of different opinions. And these are just mine.

Chuz.

This is very disturbing.

I am almost always with my laptop now that I've got it, and whenever I turn it on and go to Facebook, I deal with the same types of notifications, messages, bla bla bla...

It's getting kind of boring but why do I still do it everyday???

I guess it's because deep down inside, everyone's a wisher. Meaning, even when we know there's about hope the size of an ant in something that we wish to happen, we still sit around waiting for it to happen, because IF it does, we wouldn't want to miss it.

Get what I mean? No?

It's okay, neither do I.

What I'm meaning to say in this blog post is:

Everytime I get around to doing my homework, which is about as frequent as a blue moon appearance, I HAVE to have my laptop by my side too, to get me through the very exhausting and boring process of finishing my assignments.

And, of course, when I turn on my laptop, I forget all else there is to be done and only focus mainly on Facebook Facebook Facebook and leave my homework unattended until it's about 2am and it's time to sleep...

So my poor homework will only get its deserved attention in school the next morning.

Are you guys all like this? Talking about Facebook, it reminded me of boy-girl relationships and somehow by that I'm reminded about sex.

I have alot of pressing matters to discuss about sex and I've been meaning to blog about it for the longest time but I always never got the time to do a thoroughly interesting one.

So, as I can vaguely hear the faint sounds of my MUET homework calling me, this is obviously not a right time either, so I'll leave that topic for another time.

So guys, just remember to come back.

I know you want to know about sex.

Don't pretend.

We're MAMMALS. What ELSE do we think about?

Chuz.

Why?

Because nowadays, it's as if I've been hit by some gigantic truck of pessimism.

I keep thinking of what could have been otherwise, instead of focusing on what I am presently doing.

But I guess that isn't what I'm ever going to get before I finish my STPM. I'm just really afraid that I would not manage to score well for my STPM, but OH THERE I GO AGAIN - PESSIMISM.

Why am I like this? When did I become like this?

I should be thinking instead that I have to do well for STPM, that I must do well for STPM, and not worry about what would happen if I don't!

Because the fact that I might do badly should not be the thought that I focus on, instead, I should be concentrating on the thought that I might be able to score!

Arghhh!!! I hate my life right now. Everything bad's happening to me at the same time. I don't know when this feeling of ultimate depression and devastation is going to ever be lifted from my life, but I really hope it's soon.

I don't think I can stand much longer pretending to be happy when I'm not. Pretending that I'm okay when I'm all broken up inside.

When is this feeling going to end? I am LONGING for it to end. :(

You want to know how upset I am? Hear this: I considered therapy. Exactly. I considered committing myself to a SHRINK, because I am not optimistic that I can cope with my life right now on my own.

I am so disappointed with myself. :'(

I know it's very boring to read about the lame rants about my life.

It feels like nowadays, all I want to do is sleep. Because when I'm sleeping, I wouldn't have to think about anything. And that's what I want to be doing: Not thinking about my sad life.

But the problem is I can't force myself to go to bed. Even after I've TRIED and TRIED and TRIED.

Oh well. I guess I should just, you know, TRY to go to sleep now. Because my life at

awaits me.

Chuz.

And I still love you very much. I hope you know that. :'(

I miss you so much. :'(

fml.