ARGGGHHHHHH!!!!

The one thing that I cannot stand seeing is an elderly being treated roughly/hurt/beaten. It kills me.

That is why, I sincerely wish the same amount of pain on those who have ever mistreated the elderly, especially those who have ever hit/physically attacked them.

You deserve to be handled the same way. Whatever the fuck gave you the right to handle a human being like that?

They are people who have been living for so many years already, in so many ways, they are more worthy of your respect than you are of theirs.

They have very fragile physical conditions, and they can get injured by the slightest movements!

Gosh. I HATE PEOPLE WHO HURT OTHER PEOPLE ESPECIALLY THE ELDERLY!!!!!

BURN IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My angry face:



CHUZ.

Have you ever met people like this?

The type of person who boasts about every single thing that involves her? Whether or not she did anything to deserve the luxury she has, it doesn't matter; as long as she can find a way to BOAST, she will not let it rest.

"Where I stay, I have a swimming pool. It's quite big, but not that deep. I swim there almost every weekend. To work on my tan and also exercise you see."

"And if I am not in the mood for a swim, I go to my gym and run on the treadmill for a whole half hour. There's a thing about sweating that makes me feel very satisfied."

"I have loads of designer handbags and clothes, but after awhile of using them, I tend to get bored. I don't see what's the big deal with people who own like a single Coach or a Prada. I mean, I have loads of LVs, but it doesn't seem to give me the high I see some people get when they walk around parading a minute Gucci purse."

"My dad drives a Merce. I tell you, it's freaking uncomfortable. I hope he changes his car for a better one. Gosh, I can't wait."

"Ew. Scallops? I hate them. I get so sick of them. I eat them almost every week. What's so nice about them? I just don't get it."

And then when you're about to blow after hearing all her stupid rants about her luxurious life, you realise one day that:

1) She stays in a Condominium. With PUBLIC pool facility.

2) As well as a MINI PUBLIC gymnasium.

3) Her rich cousin often gives her hand-me-down designer clothes/bags which she doesn't use anymore.

4) Her dad's Merce is a second hand old model which only costs as moderately as an average car.

5) The scallops she means are those dried out ones used for soup, which ANYONE can afford.

Take notice of the way she talks. She is not lying, but she is not entirely telling the truth.

This is called smart talking. You deceive the public with your use of words to boast your luxury, when in actual fact you are no grander than your average classmate.

Who talks like this? Do you know anyone who talks this way?

This is a classic example of my confusion on whether to name these people smart-talkers or liars, practically.

Lol

I'll let you do the judgment.

Chuz!

How racist can you get? I'm Malaysian too.

The Chinese are never going to go back to China.
The Indians are never going to go back to India.
The special rights of the Bumiputeras in Malaysia are never going to be revoked.

So Malaysians, just let it rest, really. Why waste your brain cells on something without which you can do just fine?

It’s been going on for sooooooo many years, this fight for equal rights in Malaysia. Some find it unfair, some find it completely reasonable because the truth is, everyone’s got different opinions.

We are never going to be able to agree on something, without having another person out there feeling dissatisfied.

So just let it be! It isn’t as if we are being oppressed or abused. We have been this way for soooooo many years already and aren’t we doing just fine?

In life, just give and take. To some people, there may be more opportunities, and to others, there may not. It’s just a way of life. It’s something inevitable, something we have no control over.

You might think by posting disrespectful comments or racist opinions might help you garner support to finally make the government agree on granting all Malaysians equal rights in all respects.

But what is the point even if you succeed in doing so? The country’s going to be divided into more hostile communities if that ever happens. And I don’t think national peace is worth risking.

It’s unfair how people always tell the Chinese and Indians to go back to where we came from.

Because if you ask me that personally, here’s my reply to you:

But I was born here. I was granted citizenship of Malaysia automatically ever since birth. I am Malaysian. So where am I supposed to go? I am not from China. My grandparents, yes they are from China. But not me. I was born here! The start of my life began HERE, on Malaysian soil, so this is where I am from originally. I originated from MALAYSIA.

Which makes my situation the same as the Orang Asli, doesn’t it? If they are considered aborigines of Malaysia, so am I! ):

So why are you telling me to go back to China, where I DON’T belong? I sing Negaraku, I raise the Jalur Gemilang, and I am MALAYSIAN. Not a Chinese National… I don’t even know how to sing China’s national anthem loh...

Another obvious sign that I am Malaysian, I speak with the ingenious postfix of LAH, LOH, LEH, MAH, bla, bla, bla…

So how am I different from any of you?

Don’t send me back. Don’t ask me to go back. I belong here. Malaysia is my home. ):

And if you want to send me back just because my ancestors are not natives of this country, then let me ask you this question:

How can YOU be so SURE that YOUR ancestors are natives of this country? Really, think about it.

Another thing, it’s also uncalled for when people complain about the special rights of Bumiputeras.

Okay to be honest, there also are times when I feel that it is completely unfair that some people have special rights and I don’t. Just because I’m Chinese, I’m not granted the special rights of the Bumiputeras…

But then after I thought about it, it’s something that is never going to change anyway. So why quibble? I’m doing fine just as it is. True, if I had those privileges, I would have been able to accomplish more things in my life, but without them, I’m still doing just fine.

I believe it depends more on myself to achieve something, rather than on privileges that I’m born with.

So sometimes even if you feel that it’s unfair that some people are born automatically granted of those privileges, if only we could just dismiss that as LIFE, then everything is going to be fine.

Like, some people are born into rich families, just as how some people are born Bumiputeras.

Just close one eye, let it be, and live your life. It hasn’t affected the development and success of the other races in Malaysia anyway, so why complain that another person gets more, when you yourself aren’t deprived or lacking?

We don’t always get what we want in life. But there are alternatives to achieve things we desire without having to cause national crisis or a division in the multiracial community of Malaysia.

And it is not as if we are completely deprived of our rights, aren’t we? It is only that they have more. That doesn’t mean that we have none…

So let’s stop talking about who gets what, who goes where and who does how. Let’s just live our lives, feeling proud that even without those special privileges we are doing just fine. Even with this kind of arrangements, we are still united.

Let’s just look beyond all these and be happy.

Because I’m really happy to be Malaysian, without those rights or privileges. So why aren’t you?

One more thing: Don’t ask me to go back to China. I am MALAYSIAN. There is nothing you can do about it. I am not going to go back to China. I don’t belong there. And if you think I shouldn’t be Malaysian just because my ancestors aren’t, then I suggest that you do a background check on YOUR roots first before deciding whether or not I should belong in Malaysia. Hmpf.

I just remembered! - Part3

Written on 3 September 2010

There are two parts of me right now, each wishing that I’d done things differently.

Part one: Why did I ask him that question?

The whole night was going perfectly well. Everything was friendly, we could talk normally, and the food was great.

It was almost as if I was thinking, Hey, I think I can do this. You know, just to be friends.

The question that had been burning inside of me since weeks ago kept appearing in my head. I knew that I would not be able to stop myself from asking and it was just a matter of time before I blabbed it out.

I figured that tonight would be the best opportunity to get this stupid question of my chest once and for all.

So after we had settled the bill and left the table, I prepared myself for the event. I was going to ask him the question. I would not wait any longer. I would not care what his reaction would be. Bad, good, I didn’t care. I just knew that if I didn’t ask him tonight, I would regret not having done so for the rest of the month.

And so I did.

And then out came his answer. I thought that I would be able to handle the negativity. I thought that I could simply emerge strong after his answer.

But I was wrong.

I wanted to crumble, I wanted to cry, and I wanted to turn back time. I wish I had never asked him that, because then, I would be spared from having to listen to his answer.

Why did I ask him that? It ruined everything. The night was turning out fine, but I had to stupidly ruin everything by asking such a nonsensical question.

I wish I could turn back time. I wish we had just left at goodbye. I wish I’d never asked him that question.

***

Part two: I’m glad I asked him. That way, I’d finally be able to get this over with.

The other part of me is just glad that I asked the question once and for all, because right now, I knew that I wouldn’t have to ask a second time.

His answer was clear. Indicative and stringent. True and bold. And I have to learn to accept that.

Sometimes in life, we don’t get to have everything done our way. We don’t always get to listen to things that we want to hear.

There has to be some negativity in life, to ensure that we would appreciate the positive more.

Since now that the truth has been revealed, I would no longer have to sit around wondering what might be the answer.

Now that I know what he has had in his mind right from the beginning, there is no need for me to continue feeling this sense of emptiness and ignorance.

So in a way I’m glad I had the answer, because if I didn’t, the negativity would have just been dragged on longer, and the cut would be deeper, and the wound would take a longer time to heal.

It’s over now. And I’m going to be okay.

Chuz.

I just remembered! - Part2

Written on 2 September 2010

Now, what have I found out throughout these few days living in a totally new house save of internet connection and television?

Patience.

Imagine this: How would YOU feel if you have a perfectly functional laptop lying around, just enticing you to turn it on but when you finally do, you realise that HEY I FORGOT. NO INTERNET CONNECTION.

Shit right? I know.

And what’s worse than that?

Having your computer detect that there ARE connections AVAILABLE but you just CAN’T sign in to them because you got no SECURITY CODE.

But thank God the Astro guy came today and he fixed the TV and wires and now at least I have something to do while I laze around in my new comfy apartment. :3

I tell you. I love my apartment so much. I love the smell, the furniture, the paint, the size, everything!

When I open the door to my bedroom, I always feel this sense of belonging, because my comfy bed is awaiting me by the side with its pretty comforter, my laptop, white and shiny though quite useless without internet but it never fails to tempt me to turn it on even though I end up having nothing to do…

But that is not true. I have developed a certain affinity these few days to make WALLPAPERS for my computer! =D

I put on a bunch of make-up, camwhore like mad with the computer’s built-in webcam and then I go nuts assembling them into a nice background and making them my desktop background. =D

Now this is a hobby that I have had since longggg ago but I’ve never quite had the time for it because of FACEBOOK, blogging and everything… But now that I am deprived of internet connection, I have started to get into this editing thing again. =DDD

And I am quite proud with my works actually. In your face daddy for saying that this laptop has not brought me any benefits that might be useful to my future. I say, you are wrong father!

If I never had this laptop, I wouldn’t have that much access/time to explore a computer and thus I wouldn’t have learnt how to use tools like Paint, Powerpoint, Movie Maker, and whatever else like I have now.

I like to do image editing, and designing stuff, and I plan to do that a lot when I start a career in future so how can you say, dad, that I am not learning anything?

Dad your whole CAREER is based on the PC, so why are you stopping me from discovering my dreams through this little device like you did yours with the whole Excel thing that helped you create Sudoku puzzles?

Never mind. I’ll show you guys my works one day k? They aren’t professional wallpapers or anything like that, obviously, but they look nice and I love them. =D

As days pass, I’m only going to get better, so my dad really shouldn’t worry about me turning into a total nothing.

I’ve got loads more to blog about, including a secret revelation about my uncle, and the insistence/persistence of this one guy who just won’t stop trying to get me to reply to his messages, but it’s late and I gotta go to sleep.

More next time!

Chuz!

I just remembered. =D

Written on 1 September 2010

Grr. I don’t know how long more I can take trying to survive without internet.

And that is the reason why I am blogging through Words first, and then only copying it onto blogspot.

So I am all settled here in my apartment and can I just say that I am SUPERRRRR ecstatic about it? I’ve been wanting to move back here since the first day I moved out to stay at my grandparents’ house lol and now I’m finally back here!

I don’t know why, but in my grandparents’ place, it just never seemed like home for me. It was as if I was only temporarily going to be there, like it was a transition for me. Probably that was why I never felt like I could ‘go home’ when I lived there.

So this apartment is really my current dream home. Even though I’ve stayed here for only for a year before moving to my grandparents’ place about 3 years ago, I’ve become so accustomed to this place that all I’ve been wanting since I moved to my grandparents’ house was to move back to my apartment. lol

My mum is not as ecstatic as I am though. She claims she really likes my grandparents’ house and at some point before she actually thought of selling this apartment to live there permanently.

I would kill her if she did that. So would my sister.

So that’s probably why she didn’t do it. lol

I mean, the location of the old house is undeniably convenient, but the house was a mess! There hasn’t been any renovation done since like years ago and we were like using old furniture and everything. Plus the house is infested with mosquitoes.

It’s dirty and dingy and about the only thing I liked about the house is because that was where my cousins and I grew up, and also I already miss my pet fish in the pond outside. But that’s it.

Other than that, I’m just GLAD to be able to leave that place already and come back to live in my rightful home: The Apartment.

I’ll take some pictures of my apartment plus the facilities that we have here so that you can see for yourself why I love this place so much.

Tee hee tee hee aren’t you excited for me!

Chuz!

READDDDD!!! :D

I just came home from my sister’s 21st birthday blast and while everyone is now having fun clubbing at Zouk, I am left at home with nothing to do because in spite of the fact that I look like a GIANT I am still in fact UNDERAGE and am not allowed to enter the club!!!

Urgh… For the one time that I finally have to mood to go CLUBBING, my mum decided that I shouldn’t because they are quite strict now with the checking of ICs and unless I want to get into trouble, I should really just restrain from going until I am officially 21. ==

But never mind, this gives me an excuse to blog! =D I recently read my friend Vendrick’s blog and he had this blog post where he wrote about random things about himself and it looks quite fun to do so I’m gonna do that! =D

So here goes! :

Name: Tan Jo Yee
Gender: Chick
Date of birth: 18 March 1992
Height: 172cm
Weight: *points OH MY GOD AN AIRPLANE!

• I like boys who smell nice.
• I think that I am quite friendly, though quite quiet sometimes when I’m around people I’m not close with…
• I think I write well. =D
• I’m quite good at disciplining myself when I put my mind to it, but most times I’m just too lazy to do much else.
• Sometimes I think I’m too confident and often get disappointed because I’m not as good as I think I am.
• I always plan for something to go my way, and become so sure that it would work and in the end only get crushed because most things are out of my control.
• I’m told that sometimes I’m too friendly with boys that I’m close with, and it often gives them the wrong idea?
• But that’s because I’m a very touchy-feely and physical type of person, so I like hugging and being seated very closely to people I like. lol
• I’m very in touch with my emotions but I often display the appearance of being extremely confused because most times, I’m just never honest with my emotions when people ask me about them… hmm…
• I get jealous so easily when it comes to things/people I love that sometimes people mistake me for being someone overly possessive/clingy/selfish.
• I’m very good at taking good care of my personal belongings. =D
• Sometimes I’m too rigid with my opinions that it annoys people.
• It's not that I believe that God doesn’t exist. It’s just that I don’t believe that He exists. Get me? No? Doesn’t matter.
• I can confirm with certainty that I am ZERO PERCENT 0% racist when it comes to the people of different races in Malaysia. I’m serious.
• I love the fact that there are so many types of races in Malaysia because it makes me feel special to be part of this country. =)
• I like people easily, but it takes a long time for me to love someone.
• And it takes an even longer time for me to stop loving someone. =D
• The one thing that I feel 100% helpless and hopeless about is when it comes to controlling how I feel.
• It’s like, when I’m upset, I find it super difficult to distract myself from feeling depressed.
• I like buying shoes and bags and accessories because they never come in sizes that I cannot fit into, and they last longer in terms of fashion. =D (Like, you can wear a/an bag/shoe/accessory for years before getting bored of it but with clothes, it gets out of fashion faster)
• I do believe that I have fallen in love before, and it is not just puppy love. =D
• I hate smoking. I cannot tolerate smoking.
• I’m not afraid of being alone; I just dislike the fact that there is nothing/nobody to distract my mind from thinking nonsensical stuff, like it often does when left unattended/unoccupied with something else.
• I catch up on stuff fast; I think I’m quite a fast learner. =D
• I am not someone who dares to take risk. I FEAR risk.
• But that doesn’t mean I’m a coward though. In fact, I’m quite courageous in some things, just not in those decisions that might jeopardise things that I treasure.
• I love dinosaurs!!! Because for some inexplicable reason I think that they are super cute and they are such interesting creatures loh!
• I want to adopt a child when I am finally financially/mentally/physically capable one day. =D
• It is not that I have decided to marry only Malays in future, but I really really really want to name my sons Hakim and Haikal next time. =D
• Can I do that if I marry a guy of another race? :O
• I’m not a generous person when it comes to money, unless it is with people I really really love. :3
• Because money is placed like 2nd or 3rd place in my list of most importantly needed things/people in life. lol
• So when I spend a lot of money on you, it means that you are situated higher than money on my said list. Hee hee
• Okay I think that is enough for now.

TAG YOU’RE IT!!!!!!!!! Now you have to write a post like this so that 1) you can talk about yourself because who doesn’t like talking about themselves?????? and 2) people who want to know you more, will be able to. =D

Chuz!

PS: I know lah there are more positive things than negative things in this post, so I promise in the next post, it will be only negative stuff ok? =D