Bahasa Malayu! =D

Pembaca sekalian, hari ini aku akan memblog menggunakan Bahasa Malayu Pasar (BMP) yang amat popular dalam kalangan budak-budak Malaysia sekarang! :D

Sebelum aku mula, biarlah aku menjelaskan terlebih dahulu yang aku sebenarnya berjaya mendapat A+ dalam SPM aku baru-baru ini, so tolonglah jangan menilai ke-chim-an bahasa aku melalui blogpost bodoh ini ok? :B

You tau, aku sebenarnya sangat tertempted untuk menggunakan short-cut dalam writing aku, tapi aku pikir, kenapa mahu buat macam itu? Nanti orang yang tak fasih BMP tak faham apa macam mahu buat?

So aku terpaksalah type semua words aku dalam ejaan yang betul.

Tapi yang mendevastatingkan ialah ini: Aku rasa banyak-banyak budak Malaysia sekarang pun sudah terlalu biasa menggunakan BMP dalam daily lives mereka. Tapi soalannya ini: Salahkah?

Setahu aku, aku sudah menggunakan BMP dalam pertuturan aku sejak aku lahir lagi. Bukan sahaja dalam Bahasa Malayu, aku juga fasih berbahasa Inggeris Pasar! Dan Cina Pasar! So apakah aku sebenarnya bodoh?

Tetapi dalam kelas aku sentiasa get highest markah dalam English test, so apa you cakap aku tak pandai berbahasa?

Aku rasa, ada ramai lagi budak-budak Malaysia yang setuju dengan aku, yang berboat sama dengan aku. Tanyalah semua budak yang mendapat A+ dalam SPM mereka, adakah mereka berbahasa baku dalam daily lives mereka, atau berBMP jugak macam aku?

Of course macam aku jugak right? So apahal ada banyak orang-orang tua yang menchastise aku just because pertuturan harian aku tidak seperti yang dalam kertas?

Salahkah?

As long as dalam exam aku boleh score, then semua jadi, kan?

So kalian pembaca, tidak perlu risau, jom kita bersama-sama berBMP, BIP, BCP dan berbahasa Internet sebanyak yang kita mungkin, dan apabila dimarahi kalian golongan yang lebih tua, mari kita sama-sama membaling kertas ujian bahasa kita yang mendisplaykan A+ pada muka mereka!

Ini generasi kita! Kita akan berpower! Jangan mengobstruct the way we are growing up, sebab hari ini, kita adalah lebih berimaginasi, dan lebih cepat dalam mengabsord ilmu, dan pada masa depan, kita akan menjadi lebih terkenal!

Jangan look down on our bahasa, kerana itu jugak merupakan sejenis CIPTAAN you know!

Be proud dengan kita! :B

Hope you enjoyed. lol

Chuz! ;)

I used to be that girl...

...but now I no longer am....! ;)

So guys girls boys, listen up! I recently got a...
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HAIRCUT!!!!!

So from that...



Now I'm this! >__<

After these VERY STRANGELY LENGTHY 2 weeks holiday, I realise that I have come to erm, realise alot of things. Sorry for my lack of vocabulary (not my fault. Facebook murdered my writing skills). Hmm, I don't really know how to explain, but I just feel that right now, I should be paying MOST attention to my studies, because I should really not let disappointment get in the way of my education. I should really make use of my fairly good SPM results, and work hard to pursue what I am meant to do in this life.

I should not sit around hating my life just because I am not privileged enough to be born a bumiputra, and therefore had lesser chances of obtaining scholarships and such, instead, I should just get on with the fact that Form6 is my path, my route right now. Nothing is going to change that, and I am going to have to accept it. Since I got my SPM results, it has been 3 months already. I have wasted 3 months doing nothing, and I am certainly not going to waste anymore time wishing things were otherwise. I get that alot of other better SPM scorers are also weighed down with problems such as my own, so instead of letting the boat sink, I have to really start looking around for other alternatives to get my boat back on track.

Because I may be a talentless freak, but I know what I may be capable of. And one of them is to be able to prove that I can be more efficient than what is expected of me. My mummy puts alot of hope in me, as she was really devastated by the B+ I obtained for my Chemistry in SPM (she was upset not because of the state of the grade, mind you, she was upset because she knew I could have been better. My family does not live on the stands saying that As are the most important, but rather, what is the best you could achieve. I admit I didn't try my best for SPM, and am in every way deserving of my B+, and that is why my Mum was so upset), so I cannot bear to disappoint her once more. Because disappointing her in a way, disappoints myself too. And also my Dad. And my close relatives who all have supported me very much along this life. I want to be a successful person in life, and I will not permit anyone to look down on me.



I've faced more things than people know, and I've cried more tears than had been mentioned. I keep alot of my problems to myself, because that's just who I am. Though of course, I'm very thankful for having such skill because even when I'm at the most distraught stage of my life, I am still able to display to the world that I am still happy and cheerful and strong.

So that's who I wanna be. Happy, cheerful and strong.

Some people might get what I'm trying to say through this blog post, but most wouldn't. But I feel compelled to write this anyway, because it feeds my inner emotional need to express.

I hope you didn't mind reading this totally non-constructive blogpost about my lame life, because I actually had fun writing it.

And it made me smile sincerely, something I hadn't done in three days.

I am going to start afresh. And I secretly am thankful that this decision has been made for me. Although I am really hurt, but I know this is for the best.

Those of you who do know what I'm talking about...



Help my keep this a secret, please? ;)

Chuz!

I realise...

...that at 18 years of age, I, Tan Jo Yee, do not have a talent.

Or maybe I've realised this a long time ago, and it's only now that I am brave enough to admit it:

I have no talents at all.

I can't draw, I can't paint, I can't sing, I can't play a good song on the guitar, I can't dance, I can't speak, I can't do anything!

Okay so maybe there are things that I am good at, like my English Grammar (I am proud of this okay) or my ability to cheat people? LOL

But these aren't talents; aren't things that I'm immensely skilled in, just, a little bit good at, because I enjoy doing them. It's true, I can play the guitar, I can design my blogskin, I can learn things on my own without having to go for official classes, but these are all things that ANYONE can do. Any ORDINARY person alive can achieve.

Or maybe I'm just the most ordinary person alive.

I don't have a personality. I am not someone who leaves a mark when I leave a place. All this while the reason people remember me is that I have a really big and abnormally sized built for my age. In fact, if I were normal-sized, nobody would even remember I even entered a room.

I used to think that I am able to leave a mark in people's lives when I mix with them, but now I seem to have lost that optimism. I do not feel the spice emitting from myself anymore. I am no longer outstanding in a crowd (except for my size) because I'm extremely NORMAL.

And I don't want to be Miss Nancy next-door. I want to go to a place and leave knowing that half the people there will remember my presence for a long time.

It's almost like, if you look at me, you wouldn't be able to come up with an interesting description. For example, what will you say of me; if someone enquires of you about me, what would be your answer?

I'll probably be described in the most boring way with the most boring sentences like:

"Oh, she was the tallest girl in my class, and she is okay la..."

"She ah? Okay ar...why?"

You see. THESE SENTENCE REFLECT ME. THESE NON-INFORMATIVE BORING TACTLESS SENTENCES ACTUALLY DESCRIBE WHO I AM.

I used to take pride in the fact that among my friends, I stand out the most. But at that time, I never thought about my size being the main reason why so. And now that I've realised that, it makes me feel as if I was never anyone to begin with, and worse still, I am still a big nobody right now.

I haven't achieved anything extraordinary/extraordinarily, I haven't got a BIT of talent that resides in my stupid brain, and I certainly haven't done anything so nice that people are to remember me for it.

Why am I like this? A big talentless bum?

Is it because I've been too pompous my whole life to realise this? That when I do now, it's too late for me to nurture any single bit of talent I might have the chance to be good at?

What do you guys think about yourself? Are you talented? Do not feel embarrassed to speak out, or feel that by revealing glorious things about yourself that you are being braggy. Just speak because you should be proud of yourself.

It is a very hard thing to do, to be able to speak about your abilities while trying to sound humble, I know.

But then, do not conceal your real talent from the world. Show the world who you are with your talents.

Because, at least, you have something to be proud of.

At least, you're not like me, a talentless bum; feeding off glory from other people/parts/situations of my life. When I, myself am in such a lack of any skill.

Sigh. What a realisation.

Today's post is based on a very fun mission!

that is, i will intend to type this whole blog post based on absolutely nothing and see what i come up with!

which means, i will waste no time to paraphrase my sentences, uppercase my letters or worry about my grammar mistakes! =D

but of course spelling is still going to be monitored, because when spelling is wrong, the word doesn't exist! D=

okay so now i am typing with such speed because i am not worrying about making any mistakes, and because this is the first time i ever blogged using this laptop running on battery. i don't usually use the battery because i find it very troublesome to have to recharge it all the time...

as if that information is of any benefit to you but no matter no matter! =D

okay i feel so fucked up right now because i am so boredddddddd... i have never in my life been so bored before during the holidays!

i can go out, and shop and spend money, but the problem is i got no money to spend!!! and petrol so expensive who want to go out so often??? Y__Y

i don't know to use which word to term my existence right now, but all of a sudden i feel very useless. it's like, i am no longer striving for anything, no longer waiting for a result to be announced, no longer waiting for a certain thing to happen...

in other words.. my life right now is like.. ---------------------- mendatar.

no peaks of amusement, no rise of action no nothing.

i think i have lost the ability to create drama, to indulge in drama... to... urgh, whatever. bottom line is, i'm bored the fuck outta my life.

aren't weekends supposed to be spent happily with people with whom you enjoy being? but everyday now is like a weekend. weekends don't even faze me anymore. i hate the weekends. because it means everybody else is having fun but i'm at home, BORED.

hmm... i want to go eat desserts at snowflake... but cheryl isn't allowed to go.. grr... and so it's going to only be me and my sister. like that where got fun? waste petrol only. Y__Y

at least by bringing cheryl i have an EXCUSE to go, but since she isn't going, it is only going to mean that my sister and i song song go all the way to subang to eat desserts = waste money!

eeeeeeeeeeee fml.

chuz.

Who is this girl?

Who was that girl who used to have such a strong personality?

Who was that girl who used to have such a strong stand of principals in her life?

Who was that girl who used to only do things she approved of, and never give in to temptation?

Who was that girl who would never go against her own beliefs?

Who am I right now?

Why have I changed?

Why am I doing things that I would never do last time?



Sometimes I wonder if the things I do right now, the sinful ones (such as talking rudely to parents, lying etc) would cast a reflective impact on me in my future undertakings.

But if I were to live my life differently than I am doing right now, I can state with certainty that I would have to miss out on alot of happiness I currently feel.

But then some would advise me that there are more happiness along the way of life, and even if you miss out something by taking the left route, the experiences that the right route brings to you might be able to give you the same amount of satisfaction as well.



If I had done things differently, would I be the same girl I am today?

Would I be as passionate as I am now?

As worrisome as as I am now?

As STUPID as I am now?



I don't want to do things that I might regret later on.

About a few months ago, I had this thought and it stood damn strongly at the back of my brain. I wanted to stop whatever I was doing, because I knew I was just going to regret it one day.

But as time passed by, I realised that it isn't regret that I am bound to feel in future, it is disappointment. Because even though the outcome that I wish for is obviously going to be really far from what is BOUND to happen, I secretly still wish for my dream to come true.

I no longer think I would regret the moments I spent with great happiness, just because I know one day the outcome would be against my wishes.

Because what I look for in life, is happiness, whether temporary or long-lasting, it doesn't matter. As long as I am happy in what I am doing, I am going to continue doing it and let things fall into place naturally.

Nobody would understand what I am talking about, and nobody has to either.

So just let me express my feelings once in a while. I don't need to be comforted, or chastised. I just need to be heard.

And I love you.

Chuz.

Little updates! :D

I know I've mentioned so many times that I never want to leave my blog unattended for too long but in the end I still let it happen.

Please don't look at the date of the last post. I feel very embarrassed to know that I have neglected poor joeyjoeldavid.blogspot.com for THAT long. lol

But it is totally not my fault because so much has happened since then!

For one, I didn't get into any local Us through UPU and obviously I didn't get JPA's scholarship. So the last resort is, I am going to go to Form 6! I am sincerely quite excited at the prospect of starting school again, as I am going to have loads of friends as my classmates! 8D

And thankfully I bought my Form 6 uniform and having tried them on, didn't make me feel ugly! I look quite nice in them so it's all that matters LOL.

Also, considering I'm starting school TOMORROW,



yesterday was my last day of work at Padini Authentics Bukit Raja! ):

Well, technically, it was my LAST day, but then next Saturday Eileen requested for my help to work one more noon shift and I agreed.

But then it is still quite a hard thing for me to do, to leave PABR. I have spent about 5 months there. It is a very painful thing to just rip apart from something you hold so dearly you know.

I love working there. I'm going to miss my colleagues so much. ):

But life has to go on! Until you reach the peak of achievement!



Like when you go hiking in Broga Hills, make sure you reach the highest peak and not give up at the first peak!

Even though that was exactly what I did when I went hiking there but I couldn't help it! If I continued any further than the first peak I swear I would have died of exhaustion!

But then the hike was a very fun experience so kudos to Mr Ben Lim for bringing me there! :D


Next update!



Mohd Fauzi Samsudin got involved in an accident last Tuesday!!!! He was knocked by a car on the way to work on his motorcycle and he was thrown off his seat onto the rough and hard cement ground!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

When I got the news I immediately died on the spot and only regained consciousness when I realised that he was alright, since he was the one who reported about the accident to me.

But it was really gruesome to receive such news especially when I was in the middle of a sleep okay!

Thank God he is alright.

Oy budak. Bawak motor tu baik2 la... rempit sane rempit sini.. eeesh eeesh eeesh....

And then he's going to answer: But I'm innocent! ):

Lol. So cute.


NEXT UPDATE!!!



CONGRATULATIONS TO CHERRIE LEE FOR GETTING AWARDED THE JPA SCHOLARSHIP TO GO TO UK!!!!!

Oh my God I am so happy for you!!!!! I really don't know what I can say to accurately express how happy I am for you but just just.. CONGRATULATIONS GIRL! You're awesome! ;)



So.....

I'm going to school tomorrow. Wish me luck guys. ACS Form 6.

And don't forget me! Or my blog! ;)

Chuz!

I'm 18.

I don't know why but all of a sudden I feel like I've done alot of growing up since my school life last year. Ever since I've finished my SPM exams, I have always felt like I'm almost halfway to something. A bit closer to what they call the actual purpose of your existence in this world.

Maybe it's because I've always felt like I'm more mature than most of the friends I have my age, but when I stepped out of high school life, I seriously and finally got the feeling that; yes, I feel in control, mature and sensible.

Okay so maybe not sensible, but grown up enough to know how to take care of myself, to make decisions, to judge a particular situation without any emotional involvement.

Especially so after I have started working. Throughout my working experience, I have learnt so much that it is impossible to summarise everything into this single blog post. They aren't things that are mentionable or explainable even, but they are things that I have learnt. Things that have taught me indirectly about various other things. And I'm talking in circles now because there really is no way to explain exactly what I have learnt throughout this (almost) five months of working.

Because throughout this whole experience, I have met so many people, dealt with so many situations and the best part is: handling them and solving my problems all on my own. Unlike school, everything has been planned and penned down for you. All you have to do is follow. And when a problem arises, there always is someone out there to help you solve your problems.

I will not say that I have learnt nothing in high school, because in fact I have also learnt so much from there. My high school life formed my personality now, and now that I am out from the safety bounds of school, I'm put here in the public to test out my personality. To see if it is socially acceptable, likable and tolerable.

And so far, life has been good for me, because I've come across alot of new people, great people who are simply just interesting to be around. I've also come to realise that the way high school has formed me is what I have always wanted to be all along: likable and acceptable. I am not blowing my own trumpet by saying that alot of people seem to want to hang out with me, but that is just what I sincerely feel about myself.

There are actually so many things that I wish I can just come out and say, to share with the world. But right now, sensible Jo-Yee really thinks it isn't the time yet.

Let time tell, they say. And I agree.

Let's hope that when it finally comes, I would still be able to reveal everything with as much, if not more, happiness and gratitude as I feel right now.

And I love you.

Chuz.