I used to be that girl...

...but now I no longer am....! ;)

So guys girls boys, listen up! I recently got a...
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HAIRCUT!!!!!

So from that...



Now I'm this! >__<

After these VERY STRANGELY LENGTHY 2 weeks holiday, I realise that I have come to erm, realise alot of things. Sorry for my lack of vocabulary (not my fault. Facebook murdered my writing skills). Hmm, I don't really know how to explain, but I just feel that right now, I should be paying MOST attention to my studies, because I should really not let disappointment get in the way of my education. I should really make use of my fairly good SPM results, and work hard to pursue what I am meant to do in this life.

I should not sit around hating my life just because I am not privileged enough to be born a bumiputra, and therefore had lesser chances of obtaining scholarships and such, instead, I should just get on with the fact that Form6 is my path, my route right now. Nothing is going to change that, and I am going to have to accept it. Since I got my SPM results, it has been 3 months already. I have wasted 3 months doing nothing, and I am certainly not going to waste anymore time wishing things were otherwise. I get that alot of other better SPM scorers are also weighed down with problems such as my own, so instead of letting the boat sink, I have to really start looking around for other alternatives to get my boat back on track.

Because I may be a talentless freak, but I know what I may be capable of. And one of them is to be able to prove that I can be more efficient than what is expected of me. My mummy puts alot of hope in me, as she was really devastated by the B+ I obtained for my Chemistry in SPM (she was upset not because of the state of the grade, mind you, she was upset because she knew I could have been better. My family does not live on the stands saying that As are the most important, but rather, what is the best you could achieve. I admit I didn't try my best for SPM, and am in every way deserving of my B+, and that is why my Mum was so upset), so I cannot bear to disappoint her once more. Because disappointing her in a way, disappoints myself too. And also my Dad. And my close relatives who all have supported me very much along this life. I want to be a successful person in life, and I will not permit anyone to look down on me.



I've faced more things than people know, and I've cried more tears than had been mentioned. I keep alot of my problems to myself, because that's just who I am. Though of course, I'm very thankful for having such skill because even when I'm at the most distraught stage of my life, I am still able to display to the world that I am still happy and cheerful and strong.

So that's who I wanna be. Happy, cheerful and strong.

Some people might get what I'm trying to say through this blog post, but most wouldn't. But I feel compelled to write this anyway, because it feeds my inner emotional need to express.

I hope you didn't mind reading this totally non-constructive blogpost about my lame life, because I actually had fun writing it.

And it made me smile sincerely, something I hadn't done in three days.

I am going to start afresh. And I secretly am thankful that this decision has been made for me. Although I am really hurt, but I know this is for the best.

Those of you who do know what I'm talking about...



Help my keep this a secret, please? ;)

Chuz!