NN Stickman’s Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (many, many, many upside-down armless stick man to show my excitement!!! LOL)

HI ALL!

I just went to check my Nuffnang account and I am proud to say I have been a Nuffnang member since 2009 leh!!! That’s like 4 years already!!!

I still remember the good old days when I would sit in front of my laptop after having posted my blog post to Innit and refresh the page every 5 mintues for like 3 hours straight to see my Nangs increase!!! Wah…so nostalgic can!

Okay maybe I should mention that my Nangs rarely increased one and I only made it to the popular list  for only 2 times before wtf

But I still remember the day my first ever post went on to the popular list! I remember the title of my blog post was something about my teacher and when I found out it was on the popular list I was so excited I went to screen shot it wtf

I even copied it to Paint and then used the box tool to highlight my post in super bright red and then post to Facebook for people to see HAHAHAHA damn excited loh that time.

Good times, good times…

Anyway, I don’t know how I missed 4 years of the birthday bash (since I first joined) before this since I am avid readers of many Nuffnang bloggers’s blogs like Xiaxue, Chuckei, Cheesie, Fourfeetnine, Ash-Oh-Tonic, and even Nuffnang’s co-founder Timothy Tiah’s!!! So this year I WILL NOT MISS IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 4 years, this year is finally my time!!

So I very carefully and meticulously followed every instruction by Nuffnang to win a pair of tickets to the birthday bash and honestly, so easy leh!!!

I have to talk about my favouritest music album ever? That’s all? NO PROBLEM! Can be done in 5 mins ok! So HERE GOES! (2.58am – help me keep the time ok! 5 MINUTES!)

And of course, my all time favourite band is SIMPLE PLAN and from their 4 albums so far, my favourite has to be their second one: Still Not Getting Any…!

I was first introduced to this album when I was maybe 15 I think, and those were during my teenage angst years.

I remember when I first heard Welcome to My Life I went wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtf for the duration of the song (3:22) because I couldn’t believe, the lyrics suited my life that time so perfectly! Aya you know lah, teens during that age like to complain about their lives one. Everything also stressful and everybody doesn’t understand them all those childish nonsense lol

I memorised the song ever since. It was a breeze to remember the lyrics because it was as if I was writing a story about my life!

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don’t belong and no one understands you…

It was as if Simple Plan was talking to me leh! That was the point where I started obsessing over Simple Plan. Since then, I have been consistently buying every album Simple Plan has!

Besides Welcome to My Life, there are also many other songs in Still Not Getting Any… that I love, love, love, even until today! Here is the track list of the album. I will make a short description of what each song means to me because seriously, every single song in this album has its own way of winning my heart!:

1."Shut Up!"

(Shut Up is a song about not wanting to be told what to do all the time, especially by people who aren’t worthy and I must say it was a really good song for me during my secondary school years because then was when I was most rebellious HAHA. Nothing you say today is gonna bring me down! This line from the song always made me feel very brave one wtf)

2."Welcome to My Life"

(As I said, it was like they wrote a song specially for me. I LOVE YOU SIMPLE PLAN. T__________T)

3."Perfect World" 

(Ahhhh…this is one good song as well. This song is damn nostalgic. I remember I used to loop this song over and over again when I fell out with one of my best friends in secondary school. It always made me cry because the words described the demise of our friendship perfectly. In a perfect world, this could never happen. In a perfect world, you’d still be here. And it makes no sense, I could just pick up the pieces but to you…this means nothing, nothing at all…wtf I feel like crying now. Seriously my eyes are watering wtf and her face keeps popping up in my mind… )

4."Thank You" 

(Ok Thank You was after I had gotten over my “break-up” with my best friend LOL you see now why I love this album so much? It describes my life leh! HAHA Here is one line of the song for you to get a gist of what the song meant to me that time: Thank you, for showing me, that best friends, cannot be trusted! Thank you for lying to , the friendship the good times we had, you can have them back! Impressive not I ask you!!!)

5."Me Against the World"

(Me Against the World is kind of like Welcome to My Life because it speaks of how we have big dreams but people keep trying to stop us from reaching our goals because they think we aren’t good enough. And so we’re not gonna be the victims anymore, we will take on the world! Hahahahaha so teenage right. It was perfect! I’m a nightmare, a disaster, that’s what they always said. I’m a lost cause, not a hero, but I’ll make it on my own!)

6."Crazy"

(This is one of my favourite tracks of the album too!!! I remember when the video or song came on air I confirm will listen/watch it UNTIL it finished EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT FAIL. I will sit there, listen/watch the entire thing, and only after it had ended that I would leave to do something else! Haha damn obsessed! This was one of the most touching songs I’ve heard of Simple Plan because the lyrics are about how people these days have become so selfish and ignorant and only prioritise wealth and luxury. I love the acoustic version of this track too because it brings a much deeper feel to the song, with such meaningful lyrics: Tell me what’s wrong with society, when everywhere I look I’d see, young girls dying to be on TV, they won’t stop till they’ve reached their dreams, diet pills, surgery, photoshop pictures in magazines, telling them  how they should be, it doesn’t make sense to me…Is everybody going CRAZYYYYYY?)

7."Jump"

(Ultimate stress-release song this one! Everytime when I’m looping the album and I come to this song, I will sing damn loud one hahahaha because it’s a SING LOUD-LOUD song!!!And also erm, I always had especially strong feelings for this song during exam season because: I just wanna jump, JUMP! Don’t want to think about tomorrow, jump, JUMP! I’m just don’t care tonight, I just wanna JUMP! Hahahaha exam tomorrow mah, dowan to think about tomorrow loh LOL) 

8."Everytime" 

(The only love song in the whole album and one of my favourites too! I used to play this song with my guitar all the time and at the end of the song I always cry one. Sob sob, not only are the lyrics damn touching and meaningful, but the music/rhythm of the song also very emotions-evoking. Soft, melodious but soulful. Sigh…this is such a good song. If you haven’t heard it, please go listen to it and see what you think! Not gonna tell you the lyrics, go listen to the song yourself! )

9."Promise" 

(I guess this might be my least favourite track of the album but it’s still pretty good! It’s a simple song about making a promise to someone and assuring him/her that things will be fine. You know how we have comfort food, like ice-cream and homemade pasta? This is like a comfort song, I guess. )

10."One" 

(This song is also not at the top of my list but it’s Simple Plan’s song so it can’t be bad, obviously. Hahaha… It’s a song about how the choices of our lives are in our own hands and if we stand strong together, we’ll be fine. The lyrics in this track are quite deep and emotional so it’s good for when you are feeling philosophical and angry.)

11."Untitled (How Could This Happen to Me)"

(I think this is the second most famous song in this album (the first being Welcome to My Life) because of three reasons: 1. It’s for a good cause IE it advocates against drunk-driving or DUI (driving under influence), 2. It’s title is damn unique and it is…Untitled. LOL, 3. It’s Simple Plan’s first (and only if I am not mistaken) slow song with violin + piano coordination and very minimal drum beats!!!!!!!!!!! I love this song very much too because it’s so emotional! Really makes me think twice about texting while driving (oops) because if you drive without paying 100% attention to the road, you’re at risk of causing an accident which might not only kill yourself, but others too!!! How could this happen to me? I’ve made my mistake, got no where to run, the night goes on as I’m fading away… Main lesson of the song: Regret doesn’t turn back time. Prevention is the best.)  

12."Perfect" (Live, Australian and Japanese Bonus Track)

(A special track of their last album! Perfect was the song that shot Simple Plan to fame! Love, love, love this song as well! Love the video too! They all jamming on the roof under the rain hehe! I don’t think I need to say much about this song right, you must have heard it before (and love it), confirm! )

 

As you can see, every single track in this album has touched me (don’t think dirty haaa) in different ways. I can loop this album over and over until the day I die and I still wouldn’t be bored of it! Simple Plan will always be my favourite, favourite band because their lyrics always hit close to home one!

I think one of the most important things about music is that listeners should always be able to relate to it once heard. You don’t always have to have the best instruments or lyrics, as long as the listener relates to your song, you can consider yourself successful already!

And that’s how I think Simple Plan’s Still Not Getting Any… attracted me. All the songs speak of my (teenage) life so accurately with lyrics that even I myself wouldn’t be able to produce. But Simple Plan succeeded. Even without knowing who I am personally, they managed to reach out to me very personally through each song in this album…

And that’s why Still Not Getting Any… is my all-time favourite music album.

(Time: 3.56am wtf I ended up writing this in an hour haha… 55 minutes off schedule wtf LOL but not bad right given the content so detailed? )

 

I also did the second part of the instructions to win the pair of tickets to the 6th Nuffnang birthday bash and that is to create a playlist in www.deezer.com.

I’ve shared my (PERFECT, you all can close shop lah, sure lose to me one!!! HAHAHAHAHA) playlist on Fcaebook http://www.facebook.com/TanJoYee/activity/10151458683987722 (my message damn impressive confirm the judges will like one!!!) and Twitter https://twitter.com/TJoYee/status/304684586087116800 (this one less impressive because got character-limit but never mind, this blog post is impressive enough right!!! )!

I HOPE I WIN BECAUSE I PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO WRITING THIS BLOG POST AND TO CHOOSE THE SONGS FOR THE PLAYLIST!!! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE choose me I promise I will study very, very hard for my exams in future and won’t ever pick my nose in public anymore…PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE……………..

P/S: Got one more very impressive thing about this post: All the lyrics I typed in this post is without reference and 100% through my own memory! Am I awesome or am I awesome!??!! LOL!

It’s been three days.

That I have been having trouble sleeping at night wtf

On Sunday (night) I was dead tired as in my eyes hurt to be open, but when I plopped on to my bed, I couldn’t sleep!!! I think I can rank that as one of the most annoying things that can happen to you!!!

For some reason things kept popping up in my mind. Maybe I was worried about the first day of class for that day so never mind lah I thought the following day would become better.

NO LEH. Still same problem. So okay coincidentally I also took a 4 hour nap during that day so I thought the reason I couldn’t sleep at night might be due to the nap I had.

So NEVER MIND. I stood patient for one more day.

And TODAY as in NOW, SAME FREAKING PROBLEM.

This time, I settled my new courses and I only had a 2 hour nap (to make up for last’s night lack of sleep, so really, I didn’t sleep a lot) during the day, but still, I CAN’T SLEEP NOW.

I have absolutely no worries tonight (I guess) and I am quite drained from today’s class too (1000am – 400pm) but still I can’t sleep so.

So I was too darn sick of lying wide awake in bed for three days already and now I am utilising my time having awesome hot milo and blogging.

Seriously I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Since I am blogging and not at all sleepy (darn it! Need to leave at 9am tomorrow some more FTS.), I will fully use this time to update about some things in my life lah ha.

***

Ok so recently the new semester started. Last semester I made new friends and we spent about 4 months with each other and then we were separated for a month during the semester break.

So my question is this, imagine if in the new semester, you have absolutely no common class with this one friend, and that means you won’t get to spend so much time with her already, would the relationship fall out?

You were only friends for 4 months. So what can happen in 4 months that would make you put all efforts into trying to maintain the new and short friendship?

Get what I mean?

Like if you were friends for 20 years with this person, after a separation of 2 years, you would still make efforts to reinstate your friendship with her right? Because in 20 years there are so much memories and the value of the friendship is definitely higher.

But 4 months?

I guess it takes a lot of mutual understanding and efforts in order to maintain the friendship.

But would you be hurt if you lost that friend of 4 months? How long would you feel upset about her absence before you forget about her entirely?

I thought that if you and that friend had a special connection, the friendship would remain strong, even after separation.

But it’s not true it seems.

Time is much more important in maintaining a friendship than any sort of special connection.

Even if you have special feelings for a person, if you don’t spend enough time with her, sooner or later the feelings are going to fade away too right?

So I guess that settles that. What’s most important is you made the effort to try to spend time with the friend before calling it quits.

The next step is up to her. You can’t do much else alone.

PS: My milo is all cold already. Uhuk

180213

Wah feels abit forever since I’ve last updated right. Seriously I have never felt so occupied, EVER, in my life.

Everyday since after exam last semester I’ve been busy until TODAY!

The week after exam I was in Langkawi, then when I came back, I was off to Kelantan for the following week!

When I returned from Kelantan I was busy buying my CNY clothes and the week after was CNY already!

And now the CNY week has ended and I am back to my university life. It feels like I haven’t had a holiday even wtf.

But it’s okay lah. It feels good to be so active and busy. And today (or should I say tomorrow?) class will be starting again for the second semester!

I am quite excited actually maybe because I did quite well for my last semester (bordering on Dean’s List) and so I think this semester should be quite good too!

Blogging at this hour today makes me realise that I didn’t actually blog about 2013 resolutions leh!!!

Probably because my resolutions always end up being broken one so I can’t be bothered to make them anymore hahaha…

But I really need to buckle up and get some things done this year because I have a feeling I will be able to accomplish alot of things at 21 years old!!!

So here are my (better late than never) 2013 resolutions!:

1. Eat less and do not eat sugary foods!!! (Okay it sounds abit unrealistic for my standards so I will give myself a monthly allowance for these foods to make it more doable lah!)
2. Be more active!!! (IE: make more friends, ignore awkwardness and be a more sociable person, join more social activities!)
3. Save money!!! (Seriously man. All I do is SPEND! I need to SAVE more or not one day I’m really gonna be too broke to do anything)
4. Stop procrastinating on my assignments!!!
5. Be wholesomely nicer and kinder to everybody.
6. Find my path to glory and work on being the best person I can be.

Okay I think that’s about it. Can’t make too many of them or not I cannot keep track and then end up breaking all.

I really, really hope this semester (or this year) is going to be even better than the last one because I really, sincerely enjoy my university life!

I will work hard to achieve my goals and I hope the same for all of you too!

Happy new year 2013 everyone!

Gonna go sleep now because I have class at 800am tomorrow morning!

BYE!

What do you do?

What do you do if you rushed out of class for a toilet break and during your return you are stopped by a guy who starts making friendly conversations with you?

Do you automatically assume that he is interested in you?

Or would you brush that thought aside and just assume that he is trying to make friends?

What if you have already told him that you need to go back to class fast, but he still delays you because he has some unfinished business?

What if he doesn’t actually tell you what business he has yet to complete but automatically you know that he really just wants to get your number?

What if YOU ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND YOU KNOW THAT THIS GUY’S INTENTION IS NOT JUST A SIMPLE FRIENDLY ONE?

What do you do?

And oh, what if after you manage to convince him that you have a class to return to, he says to you that He Will Be Waiting Outside For You???????????????????????????

How do you react to something like that?

And I am not trying to boast but that happened to me the other day in the library.

True enough, when I filed out of class after that, he was waiting for me!

I pretended to be in a very busy conversation with Ee Vonne and at the same time, pressing my phone too, but he was relentless!

He followed both of us across the library, to the lift, INSIDE the lift, down to the entrance and even followed us all the way to KPS which was across the street from the library!!!

He kept asking me for my number, claiming that he was interested in me, and I kept saying that I don’t give my number to people I don’t know.

I mean, you would say that I could have just mentioned that I already have a boyfriend. But how presumptuous would I sound if I said something like that to his face?

I gave him the BOD because what if he only wanted to be friends? What if he just wanted me to help him get a letter from the UM administration because he couldn’t speak BM? What if? What if? What if?

So I couldn’t say that. I just said that I only give my number to my close friends. And he asked if he could be one of my close friends wtf.

I told him not now obviously and just to get him to leave me I said I would give him my email address and he can add my on Facebook.

So I gave him my email (fake one of course) and he said thanks and went over to Ee Vonne and apologised to her for monopolising my time.

Then I felt a little bit guilty because he was being really polite to apologise to Ee Vonne but I kept fearing that if I became to friendly he might get the wrong message!!!

I forced myself to be cool and after that he left. I texted my boyfriend to tell him about this and he told, no DEMANDED that I just ignore him because he said he is a guy and he knows what a guy wants.

I felt super relieved after that and had my lunch happily with Ee Vonne.

But when we headed to the bus stop to wait for Bus E, that guy suddenly appeared again!

He sat directly opposite me and Ee Vonne, so obviously he was trying to make conversations with us again.

This time, I decided I had to completely ignore him because I didn’t want to give him any false hopes! I mean, I couldn’t be entirely sure that his intention was to, you know, get to know me as more than friends, but I had to do what it takes to make him understand that I am not interested right?

So I whipped out my phone and called my boyfriend. I left the guy to talk to Ee Vonne entirely. Yes she was peeved but I had  to do it!!! lol

Luckily Ee Vonne was smart enough and told the guy straight that I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone.

And then he exclaimed, Oh! She had a boyfriend already? Then I shouldn’t…

Then he left.

And it proves that my assumption wasn’t wrong but still, I felt bad because why can’t a guy and a girl just be normal friends? Does it mean that once there will be no romantic involvement between them that they cannot be platonic friends?

But my main question is this: if this were to happen to you, how would you have reacted?

Do you think I was mean to have behaved like that?

#1 You might think that I kept using ‘that guy’ because I don’t want to reveal the identity of the guy, but the truth is, I didn’t catch his name when he mentioned it to me, or if he did, I forgot what it was. lol I was really freaked out lah!

#2 Stupid Ee Vonne told me not to be so proud of myself that a guy is interested in me because it is not because I am very pretty, but because I have a huge ass which appeals to men (because I am hou sang yong = meaning that I can give birth to many healthy babies). ==

Today I decide to be a better person.

As a student in UM, I suddenly met a lot of new people. It is like a whole new world. SO many people around me with different personalities, thoughts and mind set. And the one reaction I realise I have to this sudden invasion of people into my life is: I start to complain a lot.

When I see things that I find unpleasant, as if having a mind on its own, my mouth would start babbling complaints to my partner-in-crime, Ee Vonne.

It’s like everyday I see someone who makes me feel annoyed or irritated. I can easily list out 5 most annoying types of people I have met in my life in UM so far:

1. Group members who will not cooperate.
2. Girls who act cute and are only friendly to guys (hate them so much GRR).
3. Friends who endlessly ask for your help, ignoring the fact that YOU, yourself might also have assignments to complete.
4. People who are not seng mok, ie, I was standing by the door, holding it open for the next passing person to take on the responsibility so that I can leave that spot by the door (this huge crowd of people were streaming out the hall together), and it so happened that the next person was guy. Instead of holding it open, you know, relaying the responsibility (it’s common courtesy right!?), he just walked right on as if it was my ultimate chore to freaking hold the door open for him. URGH.
5. People who ONLY acknowledge the presence of your friend even though you are standing right next to her and acts as if you are invisible.

 

You see, I have so many complaints. Yes, they are valid complaints, but I realised that these are things we cannot change in life.

There WILL be people like this, no matter where we go, what we do, or even during which part of our lives. Maybe when we were younger we didn’t notice these things about others, but we are adults now.

We tend to take more notice of the people around us, and really, there is nothing we can do about it.

I guess the only change we can make is by changing ourselves.

To reduce the number of people who are annoying, we must first make sure we remove ourselves from that category. And for that I have come up with 5 most commonly annoying types of people and ways to prevent being like that (represented after the – sign):

1. People who boast to feel better about themselves. – Keep our achievements to ourselves. If we are good, it shows, there is no need to inform.
2. People who keep asking you to help him do something when you yourself can barely finish your own assignments. And the worst type are those who CAN do their work on their own, but are too lazy and so they resort to you. – Always, always start your assignment about 5-7 days before the actual due date. It doesn’t matter if you don’t finish, as long as you start. Don’t bother others with your problems, because there is always another solution: Google & Wikipedia.
3. People who complain about every single thing (me). – Stop freaking complaining. When you have the urge to complain just think of fluffy pink bunnies or LV handbags (for girls) and RDJ’s abs and the new Lambo Aventador (for guys, well, I guess for girls too, considering it’s RDJ’s ABS).
4. People who only acknowledge the presence of your friend and completely ignores you, even though you’re just standing right beside said friend. – I know sometimes it’s hard to start a conversation with someone you don’t know, but just make the effort to say Hi, and introduce yourself. When you get to used to it, you will realise it’s nothing. It even makes you feel better because you’re actually being nice.
5. People who arrive late to the bus stop (and therefore should only get into the bus LAST!!!) but unabashedly rush to the bus anyway, ignoring the fact that some other people (me) may have arrived early to secure a good spot. – Just be FAIR. I know it’s impossible to account exactly who arrived the earliest or the second earliest or so on, but if you know you have arrived late, then stand at the back. You might be giving a chance to those who arrived later than you to get into the bus first, but at least you are being fair to those who arrived earlier than you. And that is good enough. Don’t rush to the bus like a sore loser, it’s disgusting. The bus will still be there, so scared for what jek?

 

So while I am helping to make the world a better place, I am also trying to change myself.

Since I can comfortably say that I am not one of the 5 top annoying types of people, now I can move on to the next step of this strategy: which is to just IGNORE these people if I ever encounter one.

Like I said, counter your urge to complain with a thought about something else.

It really makes you feel much better. I gave an impromptu speech persuading people to not take life so seriously the other day in class, so I am going to heed my own words.

From now on, I decide to change.

I will stop complaining and stop taking life too seriously.

And I shall start the change by posting a stupid photo of me. lol

BYE!

Do you have any more annoying types of people you would like to share?

Who am I?

The other day in class we were told to write our own sajak. Ee Vonne wrote something very interesting which made me think a lot about my life.

She wrote her entire sajak like a timeline of all the things she wanted to be back when she was young until today. And even though she had very prominent ambitions when she was young, like a scientist, and then a housewife (lol wtf) then a fashion designer, but now at age 20, funnily she has no idea what she wants to become. All the previous ambitions have died away and now she is left with no direction.

I thought that I had a clear viewpoint where I wanted my life to go, but then I realised I am quite like her leh.

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. So far my horizon covers TV show hosts, VJs, bloggers, etc etc and basically everything else that brings me a lot of attention lol but nothing solid. One thing I mentioned to Ee Vonne the other day is, to me, success is when people start talking about me.

I know I have a talent in talking and speaking in public. So far for all my main presentation assignments I have been the top in class. But then I doubt my skills because most of the time I get very nervous and my voice shivers. Even at times that I don’t feel scared, my voice actually shakes and it really spoils the whole thing.

What should I do?

.

.

.

.

.

Enough with the emo post let’s get to the nice (photo) part. I think my looks improved leh! Ok no I have not lost any weight even until now but I think my make up skills have improved!!! I need to buy nicer clothes though because I still think my fashion sense is one of the worst problems of my life. ==;

Nice leh!

I know how Ee Vonne does it, but everything she takes a shot of me, I look super pretty one leh!

See!!!

So to credit her I post a nice photo of her. (and me also of course HAHA)

I am obsessed with All Berry Bang!!! In whatever place I am at, if they have Boost there, I CONFIRM will buy All Berry Bang! IT IS SO GOOD LAH. *__*

Time to play…INSERT IRRELEVANT INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE HERE game!

“One day, I will prove to them that their words can’t bring me down.”

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.”

“Oppa GANGNAM-STYLE!” wtf

LOL hate that type of photos.

My handsome boyfriend! I am trying to convince him to wear cardigans and coloured jeans because they are my favourite clothes on guys!

One of Ee Vonne’s many talents: braids! Fine fine I admit, she is very awesome. lol Ee Vonne if you are reading this, YOU OWE ME ONE COMPLIMENT.

Can’t live without camwhoring!!!

Ending this post with a gorgeous gigantic photo of me lol

PS: Isn’t it weird how I can be so emo at the start of the post and then suddenly become so happy by the end of it??! LOL!!

It’s one of my expertise leh! Can’t stay emo for long one! Too many happy things in my life!!!

PS2: AYA! Forgot to post about one incident in UM that happened to me last Wednesday!!! Ok I give preview first wtf it involves a guy chasing me!!! Will talk about it in the next post ok!

BYE!!!

So…

I was just watching this olden days TVB drama on AOD and there was a scene where this girl who is a palace lady who serves the royal family (okay so I tried Googling the correct word but failed so if anyone knows the correct word please inform me ok!) in the palace and it is common knowledge that these palace ladies cannot have relationships with men until they are freed from the palace.

Photo from the internet, credits to whoever it belongs to!!

There is this palace lady who has been with her lover for a long time and she accidentally got pregnant. She isn’t allowed to get married with her lover, obviously, but they are actually as good as married, aren’t they? Both of them are mature and of age, what does a simple marriage cert mean? It isn’t like they don’t want to get married, they just can’t.

But because she is a palace lady, she has to be punished for being pregnant!! At the time that the palace guards find out about her pregnancy, she is already at the gate of the palace, about to be freed.

Why can’t the people of the palace be a bit more considerate and kind hearted and just let her go? Yes, she has done a mistake, but how is that relevant anymore since at the point of time that they find out, she is actually no longer a palace lady? The only difference is she is one step away from the gate that separates the palace from the outside world.

In the end, during a struggle to escape, she is caught by the palace guards and is accidentally pushed into a wall where she then suffers a miscarriage.

I actually teared watching this scene. Because it got me wondering, supposing this happens to real people in real life? In 7 billion people, there is bound to be at least one couple who suffers the same situation right?

And then it hit closer to home and I thought about myself. Aren’t I one of them too? Yes, my circumstances are different but isn’t my situation essentially the same?

Here are the similarities:

1. My relationship is considered a social stigma to most people in the society.
2. Everybody is waiting for the day when my relationship will end.
3. I can’t complain to anyone because every agrees that the best way to solve this relationship problem is to end it.
4. My boyfriend and I are in a committed relationship and we are essentially not doing anything wrong, but people can’t seem to accept it.
5. Our future is uncertain and in every step of the way, there are fears and risks.
6. And so on, so on…

Have you guys ever been in a situation where you know you are not doing anything wrong but everyone around you is forcing you to “correct” it? And you can’t even complain to anyone because everyone around you wishes for you to step out from this relationship?

Who do you complain to when nobody understands you? Nobody I know has been in a situation like this.

And it especially infuriates me that those normal, blessed couples are going around fighting with each other or worse, cheating on each other.

If you don’t intend to work things out, why are you together? Why do you choose to be each others’ halves, if you plan to cheat?

Whenever my boyfriend and I aren’t on the same terms, we don’t lash it out on each other or throw insults or even raise our voice. We simply just agree to disagree. Because there is not much time in a day, so why spend those hours arguing about things that in the end, if you think about it, don’t make any significant differences?

Which situation do you prefer to be in?

A totally blessed and celebrated relationship but fighting all the time, or a relationship you both treasure so much but is deemed an impossible one amongst those whom you love like your friends and family?

I choose the former because at least we can change things.

But how do you change one’s religion?

Especially so if one is Muslim?

My boyfriend is Muslim and can I just say that even though I have every intention to marry him, I totally have zero interest in converting to Muslim?

I will never do it, even in death. So that’s my main problem. To marry him, I have to convert.

How unfair is that? Why do I have to compromise my religious beliefs (if I even had them) just to get married to the guy I love?

Our love is as sincere as any other happy couple. Why do I have to be burdened with this problem?

It is as if I am the palace lady. Only in relatively better circumstances I guess since I don’t think I will have to endure any beatings or miscarriages. But still.

Why does everyone resent my relationship? What am I doing wrong? Why do I have to enter a religion I have ZERO BELIEF in just because I want to marry someone who is unfortunate enough (in my opinion) to be born into that religion?

And because religion is such a “sensitive” issue, I cannot talk to it about anyone. I cannot complain about how unfair it is, even though evidently speaking IT IS UNFAIR RIGHT?

For all you know I might be a very religious Christian but I happen to fall madly in love with this religious Muslim. Why do I have to compromise? I have my beliefs too!

So given my situation, I have 3 choices:

1. I convert and marry him, and suffer the wrath of my family and the possibility that they will never forgive me and/or things will never be the same between us again.
2. I marry him without converting, and suffer the wrath of his family, and the possibility that they will never forgive us and/or things will never be the same between my boyfriend and his family again. And oh, my in-laws will also never get along with my family, like ever.
3. I break up with him, and suffer the pain and despair of having to let go of my one true love and the possibility that I might never be able to experience true love again.
4. Okay I know I said 3 choices but as I was writing I thought of a 4th one so I am writing it down : One of us pretends to commit suicide and then the other one chooses to migrate to another country in the pretence of wanting to get over the pain and despair of the death of his/her true love and then we reunite there, and start over without contacting anybody we have known in our lives, ever.
5. Okay I thought of another one that sounds a little bit more likely : We both kill ourselves and hope against false hope that we will be reunited in the after death and be able to live (die?) happily ever after.

What do I do now? Which would you choose?

Oh, yes, that’s right. YOU DON’T HAVE TO.

So are you still mad at your boyfriend for not texting you for more than an hour the other day because he was a bit busy?

Priorities, people.

Some people LIKE ME have much more depressing problems which until today, still don’t seem to show signs of positivity.

But one thing I can be sure is, baby, I will never, ever, ever give you up. I love you too much.