The guy I love.

I watched a show today and in it, there was this guy who wants so bad to get back together with his ex-girlfriend that he plans to fly all the away to another state just to let her know that he still loves her.

So I asked myself that question: Would I be willing to do that for the guy I love?

I thought I probably would, because this I guy I love, I really really love him.

But then I thought about it, it doesn't only count whether or not you want to get back with someone, you also have to think about whether or not the person you love actually loves/wants you back.

Going through this phase where I'm always crying, always thinking about the memories we had, always thinking about what he's currently doing at the moment, whether or not he's safe, whether or not he misses me, it isn't easy...

But someone told me something today which woke me up:

You are not the only one who feels like this. All around the world there are probably more people who are MORE upset than you feel right now. Plus, it isn't only you who faces problems like these. This is a normal process that everybody goes through.

You're crying, so? You're hurting, so? That doesn't make your situation any worse than another person's. That doesn't mean you deserve a better ending for your case. You don't deserve anything more than anyone else.

This is normal. This is not something so huge that you think your world is going to break apart, that your life will never get to be continued. This is just something that everyone has to go through at least once in her life.

So the guy doesn't love you. Doesn't mean you have to make him love you. Doesn't mean you have to cry until he finally loves you. Doesn't mean that just because you are hurting that he SHOULD or HAS TO love you back.

It doesn't work like that. Because the guy loves somebody else. The story ends there.

Whatever special feelings you feel for the guy, he also feels it with his girl. So isn't it fair? You love him, he loves her? It doesn't make you special, plus they have more reasons to be more special than you anyway...

What can you do to make the best out of everything? Just continue with your life doing things that you KNOW you SHOULD be doing.

He's stopped loving you, or doesn't love you back anymore. Doesn't mean you HAVE to stop loving him. Doesn't mean you HAVE to stop caring for him.

Isn't that what love is all about? To love someone unconditionally regardless of whether or not he actually loves you back?

I love the guy. He's the only guy that has ever made me feel that special way before, and he is the only one who has ever made me change my principles.

And the thing is, I think I'm going to love him forever. Or at least, for a very, very long time.

But the truth is there: He doesn't love you. AND he loves another girl.

It hurts you, but that is life. Sometimes you're happy, sometimes you're not.

It made me realise, all these talks, that it is not all about me. It is not all about my life. He's happy now, YOU should be happy. You've said that you would be happy for him, as long as HE's happy.

And I really am. Right now, I just really want him to be happy. If that includes him wanting not only to quit the friendship I have with him, but quitting my life as well, then okay. If he's happy like that, then I'm okay.

Even if I'm not okay with it, I will try to be. Because this is life, and in life, you don't get to make all the choices, sometimes, choices are just made for you and you gotta accept it.

I love you, D. So much. And if you're happy, I'm happy, like what I said in the message on your birthday. ♥