Jo-Yee: Oh my God this laptop bag is perfect for my laptop. I am going to buy it.
Cherrie: But that is not a laptop bag lah. It's a handbag. Got no cushion also. Cannot withstand impact one.
Jo-Yee: But it's the correct size mah. And it's so prettyyyy!
Cherrie: But your laptop won't be protected.
Jo-Yee: I DON'T CARE IT'S PRETTY I'M GONNA BUY IT.
Cherrie: One more thing...
Jo-Yee: WHAT.
Cherrie: It doesn't look like your laptop can fit in it.
Jo-Yee: Aya it can lah. I've been using my laptop for months already. I've mentally measured it lah.
*AT HOME*
Jo-Yee: OMGWTFBBQ CANNOT FIT LEH!
Cherrie: ...
Jo-Yee: You lah! Who ask you to go and mention that it might not be the right size now cannot fit already loh!!!
Cherrie: What! Just because I mentioned it then your bag automatically become small and cannot fit your laptop???
Jo-Yee: YALAH ABODEN Walao your mouth damn suay one loh yoh now how waste my RM25 JOR JOR JOR
Cherrie: Chi sin one cannot speak with logic.
Jo-Yee: YOU SHUT YOU. SHUT UP.
Cherrie: ...
***
2) Football
Jo-Yee: Okay let's go out. I want to go and have breakfast.
Boyfriend: Wait lah this football last ten minutes already I need to see who wins.
Jo-Yee: YOU CHAO AH KUA you wait for people want to go have breakfast only you watch your stupid football.
Boyfriend: What lah this match has been on for more than an hour ago who ask you to choose this time to go eat breakfast?
Jo-Yee: You chi sin ah I planned to have breakfast first before the game started ok you purposely one lah fine I go myself.
Boyfriend: The whole football team against you ah why purposely want to choose this time to play? Just to disturb you eat breakfast???
Jo-Yee: Ya lah ABODEN You all chi sin one. All you men are the SAME.
Boyfriend: ?????? Excuse me you think you are very smart-
TV: GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boyfriend: OMG I MISSED THE SHOT!
Jo-Yee: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Boyfriend: fml
***
3) Handphone
Jo-Yee: Let's go swimming.
Someone: Okay wait let me go find my speedo.
Jo-Yee: Ya lah ya lah faster.
*JO-YEE'S PHONE RINGS*
Jo-Yee: Ayo who at this hour call me- HELLO!
Phone: Yes your poh piah skin is ready already, you can come and collect it anytime.
Jo-Yee: You siao ah since when I order poh piah skin???
Phone: Wait this is Ms Tan right. You ordered this yesterday at 5pm remember?
Jo-Yee: Oh yah oh yah I forgot. Wait wait, you tell me your address har, I lost your newspaper advertisement already lah. Wait I go get a pen.
Phone: Okay. My address is bla bla bla bla...
Jo-Yee: Okay thank you Mr Poh I will go and get it at 6pm tonight.
Phone: No problem thank you. -OFF-
Jo-Yee: Okay I need to stick this address somewhere so that I don't forget to pick the poh piah skin up later. AH! I stick on the fridge.
*JO-YEE STICKS THE ADDRESS ON THE FRIDGE*
Jo-Yee: Good. Afterwards after swimming remember. OY UNCLE YOU GO TAKE YOUR SPEEDO OR YOU GO MAKE YOUR SPEEDO? Why take so long one!
Someone: Okay okay coming liao. Let's go.
Jo-Yee: Hoy yoh next time don't call it speedo lah call it slowdo since you take so long to get it. NO SPEED AT ALL. SLOW got lah.
*REACH SWIMMING CLUB*
Jo-Yee: EH MY PHONE IS NOT HERE! I think I left it near the fridge when I tried to stick the address there!!!
Someone: Ayo go swimming need phone for what.
Jo-Yee: You some more dare to talk! If it's not for you go take your speedo so long I wouldn't have needed to answer the phone call at home right! I could have answered it in the car so I wouldn't have left it at home!
Someone: Chi sin one just because I go take my swimming trunks you will forget your phone one lah? So if I didn't go get my speedo you won't forget about your phone??
Jo-Yee: YALAH WHO ASK YOU GO TAKE. Make me forget and left it there near the fridge. You ah always like that one lah!
Someone: ??? Then you might as well call the poh piah person and scold her also lah for calling at that time. If she call later, you would already be in the car and you won't leave your phone at home.
Jo-Yee: YAH HOR GOOD POINT. BOTH of you wrong lah! Aiyo why do I have to be incarcerated with you morons?!?!?!? Bring your phone come I want to call and scold the stupid poh piah person.
Someone: ...
***
So guys. ALWAYS REMEMBER to analyse the situation first before you lose control and start blaming another person. You're not a moron, so don't behave like one.
Don't blame another person for something he did not do, but look at where the mistake lies first.
Thank you. And I hope you enjoyed.
Chuz.
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