I initially thought of implementing some restrictions over the stuff I write here in my blog but then when I read the message on my heading, the one with my Panorama pictures, and I figured. Why? Why should I restrict myself? Spontaneity is one of the most awesome things in the world. I should embrace the fact that I at least have some; spontaneity I mean, and not render it into total, like I said; desisting bullshit.
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I understand that what I say here is sometimes really harsh, and mean. But it's all me. I didn't analyse my words whatsoever when I wrote so I guess the post came out as really raw and hurtful. But then, if I were to overanalyse my writings, and consider what people may feel when they read my post, what is the point in even posting all these in my blog?
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I think some of my posts have hurt my friend, Cherrie when she read it. I admit, I was kinda harsh. But then, I was just expressing what I felt inside. I don't want my blog to be this very hurtful place, and I certainly don't want anyone to take what I said here personally. Because like I said, I may be really angry at someone at that time, but I may not necessarily hate that person.
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I know there are lots of things I said here that people think are way too personal and back-stabbing for me to write, but honestly, I don't regret ever saying the things I said. It may hurt some people, but we have to see things from different perspectives. And most importantly, we must see the truth behind everything that is happening around us.
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What I want to say is, I hope my blog will not post any discomfort to anyone, especially people that I have talked about because I honestly didn't write the things I wrote here to offend anyone. What I write here will not change the way I feel about that particular person (I'm trying really hard to master the art of balancing my emotions) or the way I would act around that particular person.
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Some people may think I am fake, first, I am writing shit about this person, the next I am all smiles and cheers for that someone. But this is just me. I know that I may look fake, but I'm not. Because whenever I talk shit about anyone, I am not trying to entice anyone to hate that person also, but I am merely expressing my disappointment and anger. I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or tarnish anyone's reputation.
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And that explains why I am still all smiles and cheers to the people I have bithced about. What I write will not change the way I feel or act around that person, so that's it. I am not fake. People can get angry sometimes and they can definitely reach this point where they can no longer hold their emotions. So I believe in expressing emotions, and when people explode, they are just trying to let everything out and then get back on their feet.
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So you get what I'm trying to say? Just because I bitch about people, doesn't mean I hate them, I was only angry at them, FOR THAT MOMENT, and anything after that is all back to normal. Anger released, emotions let out, and then we are all happy people again.
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So, the conclusion is, I hope nobody takes offence to whatever shit I may write here in my blog, because like I said, I don't mean to hurt anyone, I am merely expressing my emotions. And I'm not about to put a restriction to what I write, because I believe in spontaneity.
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So don't expect or assume that what I would write here to be necessarily what you may like to hear. Even if you hate it, don't take it personally.
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After writing, I am over it. I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone. :)
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Ciao.
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3 comments:
Hey, i wished I could express myself in my own blog like you do.
Living with a sister is not an easy thing. And you can;t really rant on your best friend to your best friend. I always wanted to rant on my blog, but i take one step back and think about how it would affect that person. I ranted on my sister once(or a million times), she denied, and told everybody I was an actor and a liar on my blog just to gain attention and pity. That turned out to be one whole load of mess, spiced up with vulgarities and slaps. Sometimes, as much as we would like to tell someone we love how we feel, they won't take it. I hope your friends will be more open minded and you wont end up like me. I totally understand how you feel, and I wished I had those guts, but I'm not ready to face the people I wrote about, lol. Luck.
Looks like you made up your mind... ^^; I realize I've been a bit of a hypocrite when I defended you from your friends' ganging up comments, but at the same time I told you not to be so harsh when writing about your sister....Hmm....maybe it's because I know her, and I don't like to see you guys like that, after all you only have one sister. ^^;
But then like you said, you're angry with them for that moment only. It should be fine. I guess. ^^;
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
but i don't know whether it is right or not. this bitching in blog thing.
but i've decided i should just rant first, and then explain. that way, i wouldn't feel so hurt, but when my friends or whoever feels hurt, i'll explain and try to make them feel better.
because i think, things don't always go the way we want. so when we bitch, we hope that that particular person will realise and try to understand what we may feel.
if they still don't understand, that is just something we will have to acept.
bcos there is one thing we need to know, and that is, when u write about someone, there is at least a CHANCE, even though faint, that that person may understand what we are feeling and trying to say. and things MAY get better. :)
but if we do not write at all, we know that there is NO chance that the person will knoww how we feel inside. and that won't make things better.
so i decided i should just write explian, and then hear the other side of the story, and then decide the conclusion. that way, nobody will suffer alone. :)
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