I am going to DIE

You know what? I gotta say this. I am so tired.

I don't know how long more will I be able to take this. I might die from it, okay?

WHEN people ask you about your exam, can you PLEASE give appropriate and NICE answers? And NOT answer patronisingly for at least ONCE in your fucking life?????

I am going to die. I am totally going to die if this goes on.

I KNOW you are the one taking STPM. I KNOW you know well about STPM and I don't know no shit. But is that ANY reason for you to give your fucking smirk whenever I talk about the exam??? I am going to die. I seriously am going to die.

Don't you realise that I was being NICE when I asked you how was your General Paper? Why can't you have just said, "Erm, it was okay. I think I did well." You don't even have to smile, I'll spare you that. But WHY did you have to answer like you are so smart and I am so stupid??????

"I even had fifteen minutes left to check! I am so happy!"

And so I thought you were over the only-I-know-about-STPM thing and were trying to have a nice conversation with me.

l

Boy was I wrong.
i

So I went (when I still thought you were nice), "So you can get full marks? :)" I even SMILED okay???

i

WHY couldn't you have answered, "I hope so. I dunno." I would have been happy. But no, you had to give me that stupid glare and stupid smirk again and go:

k

"You don't know anything about this exam. You think it's that easy?"

i

HELLO??????????? I was asking you a very nice and caring question. If you didn't like to answer, you could have just smiled. Or looked at me. Or blinked at me. Or whatever shit you want to do, but you didn't have to say THOSE WORDS okay???

i

I am so tired. Everytime I ask about your stupid STPM, this is the response I get. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT?????????

l

And then what if we don't ask? You will go around complaining how the family doesn't care about your stupid STPM. I seriously don't know what is wrong with you. Will you for the love of God please WAKE UP?????

i

Don't you know that you are hurting the people around you? People who actually want to be NICE to you??? What are you thinking?? Are you still not over the mid-year exam thing?????

u

Okay, so you got the highest marks for your stupid whatever paper that was during mid-year exams, and then you kept fucking quiet. So when I came home and announced that I got 2nd place in class, you wanted to show off your results too. FINE. It's only natural that you wanted to do that and I even supported you.

u

So you told everyone about how you got the highest marks for your whatever shit paper. And then everyone was happy for you! And then when we asked how much marks you got, you said 60%. Okay.

f

WHAT????? So Mum said, "What, only 60% and it's highest?" And she was joking for God's sake! And it was true wasn't it? 60% and you got the highest, not a very good crowd of classmates you have. But no, you had to take it seriously and go:

f

"Yea, whatever I do doesn't count. Whatever Jo-Yee does, counts."

f

HELLO. Do you want to know why? Do you want to know the difference between you and me??? The difference is, I WORKED HARD FOR my exam. And you, you DIDN'T. I am sorry, but it is the FACT that you got highest for your paper out of sheer luck. You didn't work hard for it, it was just the that girls in your class aren't exactly bright students, that was why you managed to get highest.

r

You know it's like that. You KNOW you didn't work hard for your marks. So is that something Mum should praise you for? Your luck? Don't you understand??? And then you go around saying how we know nothing about STPM and 60% is considered good already.

f

HELLO!!! (once again) What are you talking about? 60% is good enough??? So what? You're just gonna get sixties for your exams all the time?? What is WRONG with you??? Aren't you embarrassed of yourself? Being jealous because we don't praise you for your LUCK???

f

If you had gotten 80% but is the lowest in class, we would have praised you. Because at least it proved that you actually WORKED hard for the exam. But 60 marks??? 60????????????????????

f

And you want us to praise you?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU????

f

And now everytime we say anything about exams especially STPM, you will go with your stupid I-think-I-know-it-all and then go around patronising people. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

f

And you say that Mum doesn't care about your exams and only cares about mine? What is WRONG with you? HOW childish can you get?? HOW?????

d

So right now I am going to make a vow. And that is, I am NOT going to ask you anymore regarding your stupid STPM since you're the only one who knows shit about it and I tell you, when you crave for family support one day in your life, huh, don't you DARE come looking for me.

f

Period.

f

I tried to be nice and you don't want it? Fine. We'll do it the hard way. Since you like it so much.

f

Ciao.

f