So Much For My Happy Ending

Sometimes I really wonder if it's really that fucking hard to get things done. I mean, I am struggling right now. I am almost dying. And the funny part, I am not talking about my quest to be a Queen's Guide. I am talking about my personal pursuit in having a half-way decent trip out with my mates.

We have been planning this Genting outing for like AGES now. And then when my fucking hypocritical, self-centered, bitching (note that I didn't say bitchy, cos she isn't bitchy, she just bitches alot), irritating, arrogant, embarrassing blood-related sister said she was going to Genting with her stupid boyfriend (okay, her boyfriend is NOT stupid, just that his wanting to be with my stupid sister makes me SAY that he is, of course I know he isn't. Whatever.) And so I thought maybe I could rope a hope on having him book a room for me. Cos he's the only human I know right now who owns a credit card. And since he was gonna book a room already, I could just ask him to click a few more little buttons and then I could have my rooms as well.

So is that really asking much? Am I too much? Was I asking him to loan me a million dollars? Was I asking him to give me half his liver? I wasn't. I only requested that he clicked a few more buttons. What is so wrong with that??? And he wasn't even the one bitching about how I was being a little overboard with my requests. No, not the one who owns the credit card. But, yea, you guessed it. My stupid sister.

So, I went like this, "Erm, can I please have Tommy (the BF) book a room for me on the same date that you are going to Genting? Cos me and my friends wanna go too. :)"

And then she was like, "Please confirm with your friends first. I will only book the room once I have the actual amount of money paid to me in cash."

I was like, "God, it's credit card isn't it? Why do you need the money so bad? I will try to get, okay? But no promises."

And then she went on about some lies that the credit card's due date was this and that. She told me to go right away and ask my friends for the money, only then she will book the rooms.

I was already very pissed at that moment. But I accepted that the due date was then and I knew that it wasn't nice to be owing that much money from someone I barely even knew (huh, so much for a closer bond, huh?). So I ripped off my prideful mask and went to school and asked everyone who was going to Genting for the money. I went through Hell, okay?

Some of my friends said, "Wow, you are collecting the money so early? The trip’s not in three weeks!" I felt like shit at that time and but then I just smiled. Cos I really thought that the due date thing was true. So I respected that.

So I got about RM200 in ONE DAY, which was alot if you ask me and then when I got home my fucking sister was like, "Where's the money?" I wanted to slap her at that time.

So I just went, "So you really need the money so bad? Does he really need the money so bad? I haven't finished collecting."

And then she went, like she was so smart or something, "I told you. I told you your friends would be like that. That is why I wanted to collect the money first. I don't want anyone backing out in the end and causing a lot of trouble cancelling the rooms. And I knew you would be like that. You would just get the rooms, and then you wouldn't care about anything anymore. I just knew it."

And then I exploded. I really hated her. I wanted to strangle her, I tell you. I went, "Hello. Do you think I am stupid or sommat? I already told them that if they wanted to back out they still needed to pay the money and they said fair. And don't assume that I didn't do anything as if you're so smart. You didn't see the hell that I went through!"

Does she expect me to ask for the money every time I see my friends? Is that what she wants me to do? Does she want my friends to portray me as a money-faced asshole? I DID tell them about the credit card not being mine and it wasn't nice to keep the cash from the owner. But it is NOT my fault that they still don't come and give me the money right?

Can you imagine how humiliating it is to go up to your friends and they are like, "Hey Jo-Yee." And then I go on and, "Oh, hi. Can I have the thirty bucks now?"

I know I did say that I would fork out my own bucks if the amount of money my friends paid was still insufficient. But YOU said RM200 was enough already right??? You said OKAY. So what are you saying right now?????

I am not that type of person to ask for money all the time, okay. I managed to get RM200 for the RM300++ debt, okay? Isn't that good enough? And she has to go up and down acting like she's queen and patronising me about my way with friends. Hello. I am the one with a million friends, okay? Unlike you, the pathetic one whose best friend doesn't even text to anymore. And I don't even blame her. If I had a friend like you, so two-faced and selfish, I would pack my bags and stay away as far as was humanly possible from you. I am sorry but you just make me sick.

And the part that totally kills me? The way she gets into an argument and then storms off without hearing the opposite's reply. And that is not even because what she says is true, but because she is cowardly and fears that the opposite would outtalk her. Come on. She is SO transparent AND she thinks she is really good at hiding. Fuck you.

I did tell my friends to bring the money today, okay? It is NOT my fault that they forget, or refuse to pay and just because you didn't SEE me reminding them, DOESN'T MEAN I didn't! I did. Don't assume things, bitch. You are not psychic. AND you are NOT smart. SO be it. And that is not even your money. It's Tommy's.

Turned out that the due date thing was a lie after all. And I believed her. God. She's such a fucking liar. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER????? WHY does she have to ruin my one chance of having fun with my friends??? WHY??? My asking Tommy to loan me the use of his credit card DOES NOT affect HER FUCKING LIFE a SINGLE BIT. SO what is she doing all this for??? Whatever the fuck have I done in my life that is so unforgivable that you have to do this to me???

And so, I took matters into my own hands, I called Tommy. I told him about my difficulties in asking my friends to fish out the money and could he just give me one more week, and he just, "Oh, sure, okay." in this really nice manner. And I was like, okay, SO WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT????? Cos before this, in utter disbelief that my stupid sister would want to ruin my life like this, I initially figured that maybe it was Tommy who was rushing for me to pay the money.

But now the truth is unveiled. Tommy doesn't mind a single BIT!!! It was my stupid sister all along playing her stupid game. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER?????

I just don’t know what she's doing all this for. Does she really need the money so urgently??? Or does she need the money for treatment for this terminal disease she is secretly diagnosed with??? Like AIDS!!! Or cancer!!! Because if that is true, I would say Amen. Do mankind a favour and be gone. And the world will become such a better place, bless. Good riddance and rest in peace, thanks.

Okay I didn't mean that. But I am still really pissed. I don't know what she's trying to play. God, I just hope that my friends would hurry up and pay the money already so I wouldn't need to be weighed down by this stupid exhausting problem.

I wish I could hug Cherrie now and tell her everything. :(

Ciao.