SPM? What SPM?

I need some signs. I am so desperate right now. I know trials are in like two freaking weeks and as someone who claims to want to score good results for SPM, I ought to be studying instead of blogging. Not to mention PET SOCIETY-ING! I am going to die.

How do you get someone to study? How do you motivate yourself? To be honest, the only thing in this world that would get me motivated is fear. I am serious. I remember when I was in Form 3 and fighting the PMR war, I only started studying like a few weeks before that. Because only then was the time that I realised PMR was NEAR that was why I got scared. But SPM is in three months so the fear has not kicked in yet. But I am worried that when it FINALLY kicks in, I wouldn't have enough time to study for it anymore!!!!!!

I have got everything figured out actually. (the problem is I just don't get around to doing it) I do not plan to study for BM or English or Math or Moral or EST because those are subjects which can be managed with last-minute studying. But the problem is I have FIVE other subjects at which I am IMMENSELY bad. When I say IMMENSELY, I mean IMMENSELY.

Add Math. I get Add Math. I really do. And I love it. But I can never be good at it. I can never get myself to practise Add Math probably because I always get stuck at some point and there is no one at home for me to ask. But Add Math you don't need as much TIME to study, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I can still score for it.

Chemistry. I was never bad at Chemistry until this year. Probably cos last year, I didn't skip school so much. So Chemistry was easier to follow. Also, unlike this year, last year there weren't any extra classes which means I did not miss them. THIS year, they were SO MANY extra Chemistry classes. And yes, many of which I missed. And being someone who boasts about not having to take tuition, I am finally suffering from my immense cocky pride. But I think I can manage. I hope. A little effort would pay off ALOT. So I'm prepared for it. Hopefully.

Biology. Oh God. My favourite subject. At which I am bad. No I am not bad at Biology! No one can be bad at Biology. It needs no intelligence to be good at Biology, or how fast your brain interprets, or how skilled your brain is at analysing something. You just need to STUDY Biology. Just read it, and you will have the subject down COLD. Which is precisely my problem. Because I can't read it. I waste too much time on other nonsense.

Sejarah. Oh gosh. This, I worry. I do not know where to BEGIN to study. I am serious. I am almost (check: almost) at that point where I think I wouldn't mind if I do not score an A1 for Sejarah. Serious. I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind an A2. And I DON'T WANT anything worse than that. But I don't think colleges/universities/companies would offer full-scholarship to a person who got 9A1s and 1A2 (supposing I am smart enough to even achieve so many A1s in the first place) for her SPM right?????? So now you see my problem.

Why am I like this? Why am I such a push-over? Why am I such a loser? I cannot even control myself. How am I going to control my life???? I am going to be a failure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No I am not. I want a new laptop. And if I do well for SPM I might even get a CAR! (lie) So I am going to STUDY HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WATCH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (why does this line seem so familiar?)

Ciao.