I Can't Hate You Anymore (Tagged! :D)

I. Put your iTunes/any other players on shuffle.

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II. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

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III. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

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1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

Gotta Go My Own Way - Vanessa Hudgens (What? I like this song, okay? XD XD XD) *Precisely! :D

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2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

Torn - Natalie Imbruglia *Okay.......O_o

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3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Crush - Cute Is What We Aim For *Hahaha. How cute. :) :) :)

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4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Kenangan Terindah - Samsons *So NOT. D: D: D:

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5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne *Hahahahahaha. XD XD XD

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6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

The Rest Of My Life - Less Than Jake *Hmmm... I wonder what that means... :P

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7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Swing Swing - The All-American Rejects! *Hahahaha. :D

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8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Seindah Biasa - Siti Nurhaliza *OH.

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9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Shake It - Metro Station *HAHAHAHAHAHA. :D :D :D :D :D

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10. WHAT IS 2+2?

My World - Avril Lavigne *Oooooh... I like that. :)

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11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Gotta Be Somebody - Nickelback *Yups. Gotta. :D

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12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

How You Remind Me - Nickelback *Awwww. How sweeet. :) :) :)

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13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

The Best Damn Thing - Avril Lavigne *HAHAHAHAHAHA! XD XD XD I am so flattered! :D

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14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Why Can't I? - Liz Phair

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15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Ngoi Bat Gau (Not loved enough) - Lam Fung *OH. So true. Hahahahahaha. :D :D :D

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16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Hey There Delilah - Plain White Tees *Random.

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17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Straitjacket Feeling - The All-American Rejects *Tee-hee. :D

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18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Ultimate - Lindsay Lohan *Whoa! Yups! :D :D :D :D :D

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19. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Bukan Cinta Biasa - Siti Nurhaliza *Hahahaha. I wonder what that means.... :D

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20. HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Almost Here - Brian McFadden & Delta Goodrem

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21. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Misery Business - Paramore *Huh???? Does that mean no one likes me??? :'(

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22. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

If Everyone Cared - Nickelback *Quite true. :) I want everyone to care about each other like we used to do before. :) :) :)

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23. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Where Is The Love? - The Black Eyed Peas *Oh my God. SO TRUE.

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24. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

I Can't Hate You Anymore - Nick Lachey

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Fuck family.

Whatever, you know? I don't give a fuck anymore. It doesn't matter. I DON'T CARE.

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All the bullshit about family get-togethers and movie outings? Fuck them. What's even the point? Since nobody but me cares about the outing, then might as well call it off right?

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Don't you all realise that any cousins-outing, whenever we have one, I'm the one who organises everything? I'm the one who suggests what we do, where we go? Why is it that it is only I who ever gives a damn to bring us cousins closer? Why?

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Whenever I suggest something, nobody even cares if I'm talking or not, nobody wants to even listen, nobody is excited for the outing. So, that's it, isn't it? We just call it off.

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I know you guys have friends, your own lives and all, and cousins-outing isn't that much appealing anymore, then fuck off la! We don't have to go out if you don't want to, we don't have to hang out if you don't want to. I am not begging you to go hang out with your cousins.

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Just don't go around acting like you're such this family-oriented person, when actually all you want is to go partying with your friends, and not your own cousins.

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Sometimes I wish we were all young again. When we always got excited whenever one of our cousins came down to visit, how we used to play, how we used to laugh. It hurts you know, that maturity tears a family of cousins apart.

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Fine. You guys don't want to be bring the family closer? It doesn't matter. I just thought that things have been pretty much hanging since the departure of both our grandparents, so maybe we need a little hanging out session to warm up to each other again. But I can see now that to you guys, their departure is nothing but an indication that it is unnecessary for us cousins to hang out anymore.

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Whatever. Just let this bond fade, okay?

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I don't give a fuck. It is so exhausting, trying to hold everyone together. It is even more exhausting when nobody seems to appreciate or even give a damn about this relationship I am trying to save.

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So, why do I care anymore? It takes two to tango. When I'm doing all the work, and nobody wants to contribute, what is even the point?

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So I decide to step down. I'll leave this to whatever shit you all want it to be. I'm outta here.

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Ciao.

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Pictures Are Worth A Thousand Words! :D :D :D

Precisely. That is why this time, I will let the pictures do the talking. Besides, I don't have much to say but random updates of my life. :)

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So, enjoy! :D :D :D

Tau Foo Fah with ice-cream! :D I recently had this at Esquire Kitchen, and though the idea of this mixture may sound totally disgusting, all I can say is that it's actually AWESOME! The ice-cream SOOOO compliments the taste of the Tau Foo Fah! :D :D :D

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My absolute favourite drink of ALL time. :) Iced cham. :)
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Mummy and Ahyeef. For those who are unfamiliar with the term Ahyeef, well, it is just a family thing I have with my Aunt. :D :D :D
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I totally loooove this glasses I saw at A-Look! Awesome!
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This picture is soooo cute! :D :D :D

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The angel is smiling! :D :D :D :D :D
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I handled these shades with TOTAL EXTREME CARE because of its RM600++ price tag.
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Soooooo cute! :D :D :D Poor thing too, he fell from his swing today. :( :( :( Knocked his head. Can't wait to go see him..... T_T
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The lovely lovely lounge area at Ikea. :)
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Okay. One sentence: April is a slut. :P
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Yuuka-chan, one of them Japanese girls we met. :) :) :) So pretty in her youkata. :) :) :)
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Kak Tai Tee, looking very very cute, and I, eating Japanese biscuits! :D :D :D

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Lame attempt to look Lian. :D
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Ashley's awesome 12-part birthday cake! :D
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The awesome Puan Ding! :D :D :D

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The cakes we bought for Puan Ding. :)
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I COOKED THIS, ABELLLLL! :P :P :P

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CNY outfit! :D :D :D

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h Last picture: My Mum's poor car. :( Stupid person who hit the car and then ran away. Eeeeeeeesh. D: D: D:

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That ought to be enough pictures for one night. :)

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Ciao people! :D :D :D
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A Whole New Beginning

Yes. I have finally decided. And at the risk of sounding like a total drama queen, my pain this time has got to stop.

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Okay, so it is an exagerration, this is not pain that I am feeling. Just, well, unhappiness.

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I don't think anybody knows the way my sister has changed. The way she acts, thinks, talks, I don't think anybody could tell that there is a difference. Only people who live with her can. I can.

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I don't know when it started, well, maybe I do know when it started, I just don't want to make any presumptions. It's just, nowadays, it feels as if my sister, no, April, thinks that she is more superior than me and my Mum. The way she talks with us is as if she's degrading us, and her demeanour, it's so arrogant.

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I'm telling the truth.

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All this while I have been trying to save things, to make my relationship with her better, and just accept it that right now, what matters most to her life is her boyfriend. I'm serious. I have tried to understand. I have tried to live with it, to allow this intrusion into our relationship. But I realise that it is only me, who has been trying to work things out. April does not seem to give a damn.

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So I've finally thought about it. I don't need to constantly get upset whenever she forsakes family time to be with Tommy, it is her choice. And what am I doing getting angry? Or sad? I'm over it now. In fact, I think I have gotten used to it.

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It's like, her absence is almost like something familiar to me, and her presence is what makes me surprised. Oh, she's home today. It is all happening so naturally. Right now, whenever I plan holidays or outings with my Mum and Dad, I don't see her in the picture anymore. Until someone asks, "How about your sis?" only then I realise, oh, right. And then I have to imagine having Tommy tagging along which is super unappealing.

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I used to think that April is going to be my best friend forever. I used to think that she is the most important person to me in my life. But right now, I just laugh at how foolish I have been, for wanting to bring back the previous days we had.

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It is never going to happen. We're different people now. At least, she's a different person now. There's no point in looking back. It is not like I plan to live with her forever. I don't need to constantly wish that she will be with me. I have other people in my life to care about.

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It's over.

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She doesn't know though, this pain I am feeling, I mean, used to feel. Or well, maybe she doesn't even care.

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Like one time, I sent her this email, for her birthday:

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There are many things I want to say to you,
But I don’t know how to start,
All the way from the days when it was us two,
To the days we fell apart,
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It’s kind of dramatic to put it this way,
But it’s the truth that we hold on tight,
The reasons why we build a barrier,
Every time after we fight,
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The barrier only gets stronger,
Every time we lose control,
With words that hurt, with tears that pour,
With lies that burn, with hearts that sore,
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The truth is right in front of us,
And we know exactly what’s wrong,
But we do not try to stand and fight,
To see who’s weak, who’s strong,
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Because we know each time we do,
We only drift further apart,
Though we might not like to mention,
But it really rips our hearts,
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Maybe I’m over-sensitive over certain things,
Or maybe I do not understand,
But you should know that I’ve smacked myself,
To try the best I can,
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Sometimes I tend to switch right off,
And go a different angle,
Though every time I managed to come back,
It was after a tense struggle,
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I don’t want to be ‘the other one’,
In your life as I am now,
Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time,
To turn things all around,
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But I know better than to dwell on dreams,
Because they never will come true,
I guess the only way to solve this,
Is to go along with you,
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It’s the only way for me,
To be right by my sister’s side,
It hurts me no doubt,
But I’ll try with all my might,
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Because I want to believe in myself,
To assure me that it’s true,
One day, someday we’ll be back together,
Like the usual, me and you.

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She didn't reply. She did not say a word. Not even an awkward 'thank you'. That was very hurtful. One of the most hurtful I have ever felt in my life. And I don't think she even knows.

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So, what's the point? Does it matter to me anymore, this relationship? No, it doesn't.

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I used to say that I would take the bullet for her in a second, but right now, I'd have to have a second thought.

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I'm sorry.

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Ciao.

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Mummmmy! :D

Just the other day I asked my Mum whether it was okay for me to go out with a boy. I mean, as in a date with a boy.

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And I got a really funny answer.

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"Oh! Who is the guy? Is he cute? How old is he? What do his parents do? Is he tall?"

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Yes. My MUM said that.

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And so, me, totally surprised by her enthusiasm about my phantom guy friend, answered her back very quickly, "Erm, Mum, no boy asked me out on a date, I meant boys in general."

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So my Mum went, "Oh. Well, then maybe if there is a guy, you could ask him to come around the house for a little getting-to-know-each-other session with the family. Oh! You can ask him to come to our house during Chinese New Year! So that I'll know whether or not he is trustworthy, thus deciding should or should you not go out with him."

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Mum still refused to believe that there is NO guy out there who asked me out or whatever. "Mum, there is NO guy. But thanks."

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I have to admit, I am utterly surprised that my Mum would be so enthusiastic about me having a boyfriend. I thought she would be against it, as I am still in school and next year being SPM year and all that. But my Mum is totally okay with it. It is so weird.

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Or maybe my Mum really trusts me that I will balance my time between boyfriend and studies, or whatever with studies, for that matter. Cos I really do try to balance my time. And at the risk of sounding like a total nerd, I really want to do well in my SPM for a scholarship. Because that is, sad as it is, the only way I will ever be able to continue pursuing my education. I mean, I know I have choices to free/cheaper education like Form 6 and all, but I want to go straight into the course that I decide to take next time (that is if I ever do decide) and not waste any time. Form 6 courses are very limited, that's why if I can, I want to take up a certain chosen course right away like in universities or colleges.

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Anyway, I wonder what my Dad would say about me having a boyfriend. I have never talked about this with him before, cos being the youngest of his children (I think, I hope. Oh my God, what is this I'm saying?????) I will forever be his baby. I mean, he's never said that, but I sort of feel that way. I don't know. But I like being my Dad's baby. Or my Mum's baby. Or anyone's baby for that matter, cos I love to be pampered and/or loved! :D :D :D

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Oh, also, today I saw an email about China. China and their scandalous news (so what else is new?). It was this article about how the people in China believe that the foetus that has been aborted by someone pregnant, when boiled with herbs, can help with the fertility of men and women, and well, it sort of works as Tongkat Ali. It was way gross, with pictures and all, about how they boiled the foetus and stuff.

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But I gave it a long thought. Aren't the aborted babies just the same as animals? How come we feel revolted that the babies are being boiled and eaten but at the same time we're slaughtering chickens and cows and lambs to be eaten? I mean, it's not like the babies were killed just so they could be used to make the herbal broth, these people only use the aborted babies after they have been aborted. It's sort of like recycling, if you think about it.

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I am not saying that I am agreeing with this baby herbal thing, but I can't say that I am truly against it too. I know it is disgusting and sick and just plain psychotic for these people to be doing this, but really. I still can't help thinking, the aborted babies are used for medical and/or health purposes right, so.....why not?

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But then, people who believe in God and the after-life are sure to be against this, so I guess that explains the difference between animals and aborted babies.

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Anyway, for or against it, it is still way gross. :X :X :X

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So I am off now. Again, take care Abel, in Kuantan. Also, Audrey, Eric, Ashley and their friends, in Singapore, take care and have fun! :D :D :D

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And may Sook Kwan che's spine heal soon.

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And Happy X'mas in advance everyone! :D

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Ciao!

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Tag! :D (Red & Green! Am in the Christmas mood! :D)

10 things about the person who tagged you! :D *SITI NUR RAIDAHHHH:

• I miss her so much!
• Smart!
• Damn funny and I miss her jokes!
• Crazy. XD
• My friend since primary school. :D
• Has one of the most gorgeous pair of eyes I have ever seen.
• Witty. :D
• Friendly. :D :D :D
• NEEDS to go mamaking with us ASAP.
• Cute gilerrr! :P :P :P

10 things about me, the tag victim! :D *JO-2:

• Procrastinates on a daily basis.(I am trying to fight it, okay?)
• Tall and big. (Trying to look as less menacing as possible)
• Super vain!
• Camwhores!
• All for charity!
• Hates cigs, drugs, and gambling.
• SHOPPPPPPING.
• CASH. $$$$$
• Has a weird fetish for shoes, bottles and high-tech gadgets. XD
• Am SINGLE y'all boys! XD XD XD

Tag people! :

1. Miss-Hanz!
2. ItoMaki!
3. Triciaaaaa!
4. Ashley! :D :D :D
5. Abelllll!
6. ALIENNNNN! :D :D :D

Updatesss! :D

Tomorrow I am going to meet the Japanese Guides! :D :D :D I am very excited! I made really cute souvenirs for them girls, I will post in online when it's done. Cos I've sort of done everything, and laminating is the final touch, so I can't show it here yet. :D

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Anywaysss, today we went mamaking, me, Cheryl, Armie, April, Ashley and Eric. I had alot of fun, cos these people are really funny people. It's really fun talking to them. :) It's just sad that Audrey had fever, or it would have been even better. I hope she gets well. Anyway, I think I did something wrong during the mamak, you know. You see, Eric at first, didn't want to let Ash tag along when we went to mamak, so I just asked her to come along because it is just plain mean to leave her all alone at home. And then, Eric sort of got solemn, and didn't talk much probably cos I brought little Ashley along. He confessed that with Ashley around he couldn't talk about things that he wanted to talk with us about, later on and I felt really bad.

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Cos I really want to talk to Eric, he is very fun to talk to. But my bringing Ashley sort of pissed him and spoiled our chances of chatting, soooo..... But it's mean to leave Ashley alone at home! Audrey and her friends were all already asleep! I really don't know if I had done the right thing for bringing Ashley, or whatever. It's hard you know, deciding. But my intention was right! Sorry Eric. :(

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Also, I found out Sook Kwan che injured her spine. :( Hope she gets well soon. The spine is very vital, so I hope she seeks proper medical care, so that it doesn't become worse.

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Also, I hope Abel takes care of himself in Kuantan. I hope he drives carefully, or his friends drive carefully. It's near Christmas, so, better not have any accidents of whatever. :) Or anytime for that matter, there should not be any accidents.

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I am very excited to go eat lunch after my prayers tomorrow! :D It's sort of a must-go for me, you know, a little family reunion, since God knows how long it has been since the last one. And, this reunion is only between the family people that I'm really close with. So it's actually good that I don't have to meet some people that I don't actually like meeting.

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Anyway, I gotta go now. I have to get up early tomorrow. As if I EVER sleep early for an early start but whatever.

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So, ciao! :D

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Yays! :D :D :D

Yay! I just came back from jogging and I feel very proud of myself! :D :D :D

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Anyways. It was a very scary day today for me. I mean, when we went jogging, me, Gin and my sister, there were these two guys who were hitting on us! Haha.

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I mean, me, my sister and Gin were walking in one line, strutting as we made our way into the stadium, and then this guy just went, "Wow. Charlie's Angels." And we thought they were just being friendly so we didn't really freak out.

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But after that while we were walking/jogging (Gin and my sis jogging, me walking; as usual, hahahahaha), these two guys were still jogging behind us! And then when my sister ran ahead of us, the two guys kind of went, "Oh, one Angel's gone!"

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And then when we were jogging, when they were behind us, they purposely ran until they were in line with us, and when we were behind them, they purposely slowed down! It was very scary! I don't care whatever my sis and Gin said about me being paranoid, and the guys were just trying to be friendly, they were STILL scary to ME! :(

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Okay. Today we also went to celebrate Ash's birthday! :D We ordered about 12 slices of cakes I think, and then the Secret Recipe people kind of arranged them onto a cake plate and the whole thing looked like a cake with 12 different parts! It was awesome! I will post the picture of it later. :D

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Also, today Yang Lung came. I missed that guy. :) Been a long time since we've seen each other. :) It's so cool that it's almost two years that he's been together with Yeng. I wish the relationship goes the way they want and they'll stay happy forever or whatever. :)

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And OHHHHHH!! I forget to announce! I LOVE STAR WORLD ON ASTRO! :D :D :D You know, have I mentioned before about my favourite show EVER??? It's called Brothers & Sisters! I thought it wasn't aired in Malaysia because it has a prominent gay storyline in it but today I saw it on Star World! :D :D :D I am so happy! Now I don't have to go to Youtube to hunt for the latest segments of the episodes the fans posted online! :D

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And I think it's still season 1 in Star World, because the people who are supposed to be married are still friends and the people who are supposed to be divorced are still married. :D Haha. And the people who are supposed to be broken up are not even together yet in the show! Hahaha.

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Never mind. I am still happy! Now I get to watch every single episode! :D :D :D I hope they continue going on to season 3 though, which is where in the US, they have gone. Please please please please do......

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Yay! I am so happy! :D

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Oh and also! I just broke my personal record! I didn't go online last night, cos I slept from 10.30pm till this morning! I have NEVER slept that early before! 10.30pm - 5.00am is supposed to be my most fertile time but I missed it yesterday. Hahaha. How funny. :D :D :D But I was feeling unwell. What with the sore throat and numb limbs and all...

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So, I gotta go! I need to go tell every single person I know about Brothers & Sisters being aired on Star World! :D :D :D

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Ciao!

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Pathetic.

Okay. I have just sinned. You know how I resolved to exercise every weekday?

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Yup. That's it. The last time it lasted for two days. This time, only one.

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I am so pathetic.

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And worse, my Daddy's home, and I ate fried kuay teow in the middle of the night. Yes. You see where I'm getting at? But it's not my fault! It's kind of like this tradition whenever my Dad comes back from Ipoh, we go for supper! Because my Dad is a nocturne. Which is where many people think I seem to have inherited this nocturnal gene from. :P

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Hehe. So. I guess I will need to play 2 hours of badminton to make up for it tomorrow and pray that I would go, instead of slacking, like I did today.

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Anyway.

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I am so excited to go for lunch with Puan Ding tomorrow! :D :D :D

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I can just feeeeel the surprise she is going to get when we bring out the few cakes we bought! And we bought all her favourites! We digged out the type of cakes she likes when we chatted the other day. Hahahahaha. We pretentiously talked about Ash's birthday and the most suitable cake and then we asked Puan Ding which was her favourite.

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And then she told us without finding out that we were actually planning on buying a cake for her! Hahaha. Well, I think she didn't notice. I think. I hope.

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We're not celebrating her birthday of whatever, just, you know, we want to thank her and show our appreciation by taking her out for lunch! :D We actually wanted to buy a gift for her, but all of us were so broke we decided to get her the gift next year, after our Queen's Guide awards. :) It makes more sense that way. :D

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Well, I got not much to say, only, Hanz why haven't you updated your blog???? It's been such a long time. I feel so dead! Hahaha. I miss you! :D :D :D

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So, I guess that is all. Happy Christmas in advance everybody! May you get something from your wishlist! :D :D :D

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Ciao!

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Keeping fit! :D

I went jogging today. :D :D :D I feel so proud of myself! :D Because the last time I resolved that I would go jogging every weekday for 20 minutes, it only lasted for two days. :D So today I went to the Klang stadium and jogged for 6 rounds and I felt I have lost ten pounds! :D :D :D

Okay. That was stupid. :P

So...

I just found out that one of my friends's mother passed away. She was only 49 years old. :( I feel so sad. I may not be close to Fei Jian, but there were days where we laughed and talked, and so, when I first heard the news about her mother's departure, I could almost feel her sadness. :(

Reality hit me, later when I digested the news. Life is so unfair. Why do people have to die? I know it's for the population shit whatever, but couldn't she live for just a little while longer? To keep her children company for a few more years?

Life is as unpredictable as it is. I know this will sound cliche but really, acknowledge the people around you whom you love. Make them feel loved, or at the least, remembered. You wouldn't know when the time someone you care about would die. And you certainly wouldn't know when you, yourself, will leave this world.

This is all so spooky. And sad.

Let us all take a few seconds to pay respect to Mrs Ting.

Okay. May Fei Jian be okay. :)

Okay. moving on.

I just want to say....... He called. :) :) :) Got to hear his voice. Addiction and/or desperation refurbished. :P

Another thing. I have a sore throat right now. It hurts so bad to talk. Even if my voice is super sexy. :P I think it's cos of the ice-cream I ate last night. And the cup of jelly. And the glass of iced water. And the coke form McD.

God. No wonder I have a sore throat.

Anyways. I'm off now. I actually had alot to say when I first started just now. But in between I had a phone call, chatted with people, and I abandoned this post until now.

And I lost the muse to write. :P

So, ciao!

No wait, I just remembered! TWO guys said that I was pretty and cute today, based on my display picture la. :D :D :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Stupid, I know. But I am so flattered! :P

Just another post!

Not much to say today. Well, actually I have alot to say. But I'm feeling so I don't know, flushed right now, I don't think I wanna talk about it.

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Anyways, I went shopping yesterday at Mid Valley! :D I actually went to KL to collect my log books, so I figured, since I was at KL, might as well make full use of my visit there. So I decided to go shopping in Mid Valley! :D

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At first I planned to go alone, and I was really excited cos it would be the first time I ever went bus/train-hopping and shopping alone, without parental guidance or friends accompanying me, it kind of made me feel mature and independent! :D But in the end, I figured it would be mean to not call my friends to go shopping with me and also, I knew having my friends with me would be totally fun, so I asked them if they wanted to come with! :D

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And surprisingly, all of them wanted to come! Even Seow Wei who was actually supposed to rush back to Klang for tuition, skipped her tuition just to come with us! I was so happy! :D Somehow in the end, over some reason, Cherrie decided that she didn't want to come anymore, and just left without even explaining the reason. Whatever. She told me her reason later afterwards but it was kind of lame, but I didn't pursue, so I just dismissed it. :P So, Seow Wei, Mae Vin, Xin Yi and I went shopping! :D :D :D

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And I tell you, Seow Wei was so fun to hang out with for shopping! She is so funny and cute! We usually hung out in school and for Guide stuff and we seldom asked her to join us for shopping, cos before BAKP, we were kind of in different cliques, but now we're so close, I really, really like her! :D After shopping she told us to invite her whenever we went shopping and funny cos that was what I was about to tell her too! :D

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I really loved this Mid Valley trip, I had lots of fun. :)

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Okay, so just now I had a little SMS confrontation or, erm, discussion with Cherrie regarding her well, very insensitive behaviour recently. I told her she was being very rigid with our friendship lately and all that and so it progressed and became this sort of heart-to-heart talk. We told each other honestly what we were facing, the reason behind the hurtful stuff we had been doing to each other and all that. It was a very intense conversation.

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I repeat, very intense.

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So well, I guessed it is all over now. I mean, there wasn't really a deal in the first place, just small sensitive matters, not like it would tear our friendship apart or whatever. But I think we needed the talk. I think Cherrie needed it more than I did though. :)

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But, I would also like to know the culprit who read my blog posts and asked Cherrie if we were fighting. It made Cherrie cry because she was so confused an she thought that many people hated her! I mean, I don't hate Cherrie! I've said it very clear! I don't hate anyone! In fact, I love Cherrie!

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But I guess there might be people who dislike Cherrie out there, cos I think Cherrie is sometimes very insensitive about the things that she says. Sometimes they are hurtful, but Cherrie made clear that she wasn't trying to hurt anyone, and she promised to be careful when talking in future.

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But also, I think most people who hate her are just jealous of her. Cos she's really good in studying, holds high posts in her clubs and stuff, bla bla bla...... all that crap, so it isn't really any wonder people would talk bad stuff behind her back in envy.

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But she's a nice person, really. If you think she's a bad person, you just don't know her enough. And whatever those people say about Cherrie having changed to become really arrogant are just a bunch of sensitive liars. Cherrie has not changed. She's still the Cherrie I've known almost half my life and loved.

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Okay. And you know what? I feel really pathetic. I feel like a loser, an asshole and a defeated bitch. Cos you know what?

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I have never wanted to hear someone's voice so badly before. Never.

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But right now, I want so badly to hear................

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Maybe it's true what Mae Vin says. About socially retarded girls and boys.

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But I'm trying really hard to come to my senses and stop thinking so much about it.

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I'm really trying.

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I'm just upset that it doesn't seem to be working.

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Ciao.

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Embarrassment! :X

Oh my God, I just found out that the store, at which I saw the very gorgeous stripe sweater/sommat I keep mentioning about?

I thought the name of the store was Balen.

But I found out, it's actually BALENO!

Oh my God, embarrassment! Hahahahahaha. :D :D :D

Updates! :P

Today I went to the Sultan's palace. Didn't have that much fun. So, not gonna elaborate on it. :D I know I ate lots of food until I got stuffed! :D

Okay, so, today's post is just gonna be a random one, because I haven't been feeling very EMO lately, not that it's a bad thing. I hate being EMO or being dubbed an EMO, cos I'm NOT emotional. I am a very happy-go-lucky girl! At least I try to appear to be.

SO, let's talk about, my new friend Abel. He's nice, funny, very different from any other guys I've met. Cos he's really mean for one, he calls people 'Loser', 'Asshole', 'Sucker' and all sorts but he's lucky I don't mind, cos well, I know he said it only to be mean, and he actually didn't mean what he said. :D Anyways, I also found out that he is by far the flirtiest person I have ever met. Haha. He says very sweet things, which I don't think he even means, like, "You're pretty," or "I'll try not to miss you," which I actually don't like. Not that I don't like compliments and/or people flattering me, it's just, if you wanna say something, mean it la. Don't just say it for the sake of well, saying.

And one funny thing, we actually met over the cuteness of his name, Abel, and the conversation sort of progressed to a debate on how to pronounce his name, Abel. Funny cos I asked him how the 'A' in Abel was pronounced, and he told me it was pronounced like the letter 'A'. And then I got very excited because Abel was such a cute name! Is, is such a cute name. :D So when he called, and when I finally could hear the actual pronunciation of the name Abel, I stupidly sort of embarrassed myself. :D Hahaha.

Because instead of pronouncing Abel, as the word 'able', which is the correct pronunciation, I went and pronounced it Ay-Bell. Hahahaha. I guess Abel got really humiliated cos he went, "Screw you, it's 'able'!" into the phone. I didn't mind because I was totally humiliated and embarrassed too. Hahaha. Sorry, 'able'. :P

Okay moving on, I think Tommy thinks that I am angry at him, over the Shogun thing. You know, him, robbing me of my sister and all that shit? I guess my sister must have told him about it, how angry I was or something. Haha. Cos he sort of distant himself from me, and very carefully chose his words when talking to me and all that, and it was all so weird! I mean, he usually just hits me and says bad things to me and bullies me and all that and suddenly he's this sweet angel? Haha. Well, at least he feels like he's done something wrong. And I'm really glad that at least one of them, Tommy and my sister, feels guilty about this whole thing. For which I can only say: "Vengeance is sweet, so is Victory!" :P

Also, I found out today that Angeline my senior, thinks less of the secretary post. Well, her actual words were, "S/U, anyone can do it." And the sad part, I am secretary of the GG Society. So it means that I'm kind of useless to the society and that's why I got the post? Even sadder, I found out my ex-senior, Sue Li, also thinks that way! She also thinks that the secretary's post is for useless people! I feel so degraded! Not that I'm mad or anything, I'm just upset and I really feel useless all of a sudden, for some reason. Haha.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter, you know, all this? I don't listen to people's judgement to figure out what type of person I really am, I feel that my own judgement will be the most accurate. Because, if there is one person who really knows me well, that's gotta be me. :D I know I am not useless, I just appear to be, if they want me to do some job, I'm definitely up to it! Bring it on, sister! :D

And I really have thought about it.

Best friends? I don't think they exist. At least in my world they don't. I don't believe how someone would sacrifice everything for you, or always be there for you, or always tries to make you happy. As much as we like to think that there is someone out there like that, we cannot deny the fact that this is just a fairytale. And fairytales, as we all know, are just fantasy stories.

Or maybe I just haven't found my special someone. :D But if there is someone who qualifies for the criterias I mentioned above, she is my Mum. :) So right now, I guess I'll just settle for having my Mum as my best friend. :) Not that it's a bad thing cos for one, I know I'm gonna have her forever. She'll forever be my Mum. Nothing can change that. :)

Cheeeeeesy, oh my God. Hahaha. I'm just trying to clear this up. I don't have a best friend. At least, I haven't found mine. I love my friends very much, but there just isn't one I would call my best friend. :)

A best friend is significant. And special. And that is why I need a preferably long time to figure out who mine is. And, at sixteen years of age, I don't think I'm ripe enough to have found mine. :) So I'll wait.

I'm not trying to make my friends upset, or anything, I just don't want anyone to fall under the false belief that this certain someone is my best friend or whatever. For example, like when someone says, "Isn't *someone's name* your best friend? You can always go talk to her." I feel mean to deny it, but I feel fake to not deny it. :D

So, I'm just posting this to clarify everything so that there will be no misunderstandings happening in future. :)

Ciao!

The Weird Dream

You know a few days ago I had this very very weird dream? Haha.

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In my dream, I was invited to my Physics teacher's wedding. My Physics teacher is Miss Tan and she is a very awesome lady! So, in my dream, I was very excited to go to her wedding and to meet her husband. She's such an awesome lady that it's only natural that I feel excited to meet the man who would qualify to make an honest woman out of her. Hahahaha.

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So in my dream, her wedding was held in my school. Weird right? Only, the place in my dream was not my school, as in the real one, SMK (P) Bukit Kuda, Klang, but it was this other place (in my dream, that place was my school), which weirdly, I have also dreamt about before! It was so weird! And in my dream, I knew that the place was my school only in my dreams! Haha. During my dream, I knew that in real life my school was Beekay, and in my dreams, that place was my school. Haha.

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Funny how the human mind works.

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Okay, continuing, so I was lining up, waiting for them to register us and all that, and when I finally got to the entrance, the wedding reception was at the door of a hall. A school hall very much like my old school's hall. Haha. And even the chairs that were lined and arranged inside the hall were plastic, and they were arranged the same way as during a convention or a seminar or whatever. Stuff that were usually held in a school hall. Haha.

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And first we were entertained with some performances, the first one was from these girls from my school who usually perform during events, and their dance was so dejavu! Haha. And then Miss Tan came up to me and I congratulated her and all that. But still, the groom was no where to be seen.

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So after that I went out of the hall, and I saw some people crowding around something at the other side of the corridor (yes, if you notice, there are corridors outside school halls, hahahaha.). One of my friends came up to me and told me that Michael Jackson was there and everybody was waiting for his autograph!

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I know. Super weird.

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Hahaha. My friend (sadly, this friend, I forgot what she looks like, but in my dream, I don't think I even know her in real life. Haha) knew that I was a big fan of Michael Jackson and so she asked me to go get his autograph. I was doubtful at first. Because even in my dream, I didn't think it was possible for Michael Jackson to attend someone's wedding, not to mention a school teacher's one, in the school where she worked. Haha.

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But I went to him anyway and I found out that he was indeed just some crossdresser who was supposed to be doing some performance. I snorted at him, and then at my friend and then I suddenly woke up.

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Hahahahahaha. And in the end I still did not get to see the groom. Haha. Weird dream right??? So, so weird. So dejavu! Cos it's like I've been to that place before, in my other dream! Haha. I actually thought of texting Miss Tan to see if she really got married that day but I didn't cos I thought that it would sound too embarrassing. Haha.

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Who asks their teacher whether or not she just got married??? Hahaha.

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But talking about Miss Tan, I really miss her. She is such an awesome teacher. Even though she might not be very super in teaching Physics, but she's a very nice, out-going and sporting teacher. :) And her smile, she really has that million dollar smile that just brightens up your day when you see it.

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Haha. Cliche, I know. But who said cliches weren't true? :D

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I think she is one of the very minimal reasons I look forward to starting school in 23 days.

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Noooooooooooo. I don't want school to start yet! I have not rest enough. I am not ready to face the SPM year!!

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Oh God, someone please save me!