Sunday, May 24, 2009

I keep naming my posts AFTER I've written them! No fun la!

There are only four days of exams left. The only killer paper left has got to be Physics paper (2), I guess. Which I absolutely hate. My Dad is like the King of Physics (he's got a Degree in Engineering) but why can't his daughter be the same? (yes I am ignoring the fact that I have only spent about a quarter of my life with Dad thus far) (cos if I didn't/don't live with him it's completely logical that I can't do well in Physics just because he's good at it right? - since he wouldn't be there to teach me and all that) (assuming intelligence can never be inhertied la - what of COURSE it cannot be INHERITED what am I talking about I am a BIOLOGY student for Snape's sake!) (yes I have recently rekindled my love for Harry Potter - not that it was ever dead, just faint - hence my swearing reference - when I accidentally found Ash's Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince book waged beneath placed neatly beside some shoeboxes in my house) (I just realised I have leaked out spoilers for those who refuse to read the last Harry Potter book and are anxiously waiting for the movie by expressing my love for Snape - you know Snape being a very mean character pre-HP and the Deathly Hallows so how can I possibly like him? HAHAHAHA I have just ruined hardcore HP movie fans who don't read HP books' lives!) (you know, I don't know why I am typing in brackets)

Where was I? Oh. Physics. Yes, apart from that, I also suck at Add Maths. A subject at which my Dad is immensely good. Someone please kill me now. They say that if you are bad at Add Maths, you will officially be bad at Physics too. I am the perfect example for this theory.

Though of course I love Add Maths (except Statistics. And Vector. And Solution of Triangles. And Circular Measurements. And Trigonometry. Yea, except all that), I absolutely ABHOR Physics. Okay fine not to say I ABHOR it, I just er, dislike some parts of it which I cannot understand. Like I love Force and Motion. And erm, well. That's about all that I understand like about Physics. The rest I hate. :D

Sometimes I wonder if I would have been a better person if I had lived with Dad? Meaning if Dad never left the family and succumed to lust and all that? Would I have been a more erm superior person to the one I am now? Don't get me wrong, I love the way I am. I'm just curious you know.

Let me tell you all the story.

When I was young, apparently I came from a rich family, The Tangs, who had a family business which manufactured shoes. (now I know I have said before that I had never come from a rich family and that is because I don't acknowledge that fact, having never actually indulged in luxury before - how can I say that I was rich?) The brothers in the Tang family each had a house which all occupied almost one whole row of houses in Jalan Kapar. Which is my old house la.

My Dad drove a Mercedes Benz - that is I guess the only materialistic means of wealth I remember about my life - and soon he bought another Benz in which I don't even remember having been once before my Dad sold it away. I've heard that he'd been affected by the 1997 recession but I don't know if that was the case.

All I could remember is how my Dad had suddenly become so much less profligate and wealthy in his lifestyle and how our cars had begun to reduce in size and brand and how the time Dad spent at home had lessen and lessen.

From one part of the story it was that my Dad became very undisciplined (which is the ULTIMATE cause of the state of my Dad's life and my life and my Mum's life and and sister's life right now actually - because eversince then, Dad hadn't been the same man as the one Mum married before (or so she says, I wouldn't know the man Mum married of course, seeing as how I wasn't even born yet) and that was why everything in our lives went downhill - the sole breadwinner being undisciplined - it can be abysmal and/or catastrophic you know) after he had succumbed to lust (please don't make me mention that bitch in my blog - oh, there I go) and so everything in his life began to plunge downwards eversince. His job, his family, his life. Practically everything.

And then there was some point in my life - by which time I had already taken into comprehension the reason my Dad didn't live with me in the same house and it was my Mum who paid for all the elctricity bills and stuff (he had left the family) - that Dad had suddenly returned home and occupied a room in the house. All of a sudden I had my Dad again, he was living with us, having birthday dinners, and all that. (though of course he never reconciled with Mummy - he was just like a friend in our household)

And one of those days I sneaked a peek at Dad's paycheck and apparently he was earning a cool RM11,000 a month. That was the point where I began to question why I was still living in such a financially-burdened state when my Mum and Dad's paycheck put together could have easily fed the family and bought us materialistic luxury as well? (yes, me being very materialistic even when I was young. I'm sorry la it's just, I would much prefer to be given something I like - like new shoes CASH shades a laptop my DRIVING LICENCE - than a handmade card you put a heap of effort into making) (okay la to be fair I appreciate those stuff too, but I said prefer)

And then shortly after that I guess Dad went back to where he succumbed to his lust and then I lost my Dad all over again. Isn't it funny? That my Dad kept appearing and disappearing every once in a while throughout my life but it is not until now that I realise I had never felt weird about it?

Broken families. Just reading about it makes you shudder right. ;)

Yes, you are free to assume from my little wink there that I am perfectly fine with this arrangement now, one way or another. Though I wouldn't say I would refuse if I was given a chance to have Dad and Mum reconciled. :)

Wait. I haven't finished. You are very bored already HAHA I don't care. :D :D :D

So how would my life be if Dad and Mum never separated? I don't know why but in my mind I always get this very weird image of me being a stuck up spoilt rich man's daughter who wears branded clothings BUT with a smart brain. You know my Dad being a very smart man so he would definitely rub as much knowledge as is humanly possible into me if he had spent enough time with me.

If I was that girl, I wouldn't even be in SMK (P) Bukit Kuda, Klang. I would probably be studying in some expensive International School (my Dad being a very anti-government person - please don't tell anyone I don't want to get sued. Or beaten).

If I was that girl, I wouldn't even be living in Jalan Meru. I would probably be living in somewhere expensive like uptown KL.

If I was that girl, I would never have been friends with Cherrie. (which is enough a reason to make me feel GRATEFUL that I am NOT that girl)

If I was that girl, I wouldn't be the funny person (or so I wish) I am today. I would have been some ugly boring nerd who talks about nothing but DNA and protons.

If I was that girl, I wouldn't even be blogging here right now. I would be busy watching Discovery Channel (my Dad's favourite channel - also one which he has been pestering me and my sis to watch ever since we were born to no avail - GIRLS RULE MAN! ;p) or studying for Physics exam since that is what I will be sitting for tomorrow.

If I was that girl, I would not have known even that 2009 AI winner is hottie Kris Allen, having not even known the meaning to hot because channels like Discovery Channel generally don't use slangs like hot do they? ;)

So you see, as much as I wish that Mum and Dad would reconcile, I don't wish to turn back time. I want to be who I am now, but only with Daddy returned to me. Minus his recently developed horrific temper and magnified addiction towards cigarettes of course.

So all I can say is I guess, forget the past (I know cliche) and concentrate on Physics paper (2) you stupid SPM candidate 2009 living present life! (:

Ciao!

PS> Can ANYONE please tell me if the PLKN list for 1992s is out already?????

PPS> Oh God I freaking love the new font! Why have I never thought of using Comin Sans instead of the stupid ugly Trebuchet before???

PPPS> You know, it is actually possible for me to like a mean character in a story and the proof of point is that my favourite character in Mean Girls is obviously Regina George. So I guess my Snape effect has some flaws after all. But it DEFINITELY spoiled the story nevertheless. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2 comments:

Audrey Juicy Tits said...

Lol I hate Comic Sans. I prefer Anime Ace (despite COMIC being in the name, it's terrible for comics, NOBODY uses Comic Sans for comics, ironic).

And Snape is awesome, whether or nor he turned out to be a good guy. He is full of EPIC WIN.

Too much knowledge is never a bad thing, and if your father was any better a parent, you wouldn't end up being spoilt, even in a luxurious lifestyle (take my Aunt Swee Lai's kids, motherfucking-Vegas casino flies them in a private jet-rich, but very humble and very hospitable people.

Of course nobody wants to turn back time, but wouldn't it be cool to just see how you'd end up?

Jo-Yee said...

Hahaha. But I imagine Comic Sans to be very nice to read in comics! :D

I KNOW! I love Snape! He is like the most er, I don't know how to explain - like, he is the character you would have most to talk about in the whole series!!! Haha :D

Yea, it'd be VERY interesting to see how I'd turn out. Haha. :D :D :D But I keep feeling very afarid because "be careful what you wish for cos you just might get it." I cannot bear to even think of the possibility that I might lose this current lifestyle I am having haha! :D