Hello people!

I feel so damn lazy to upload photos to my blog nowadays weyh. It is fucking slow to do it through blogger.com and even more troublesome to do it with Photoshop or Flicker or Imageshack or whatever.

So if you want pictures just go to my Facebook. I set my Fb page to be seen by the public because I love attention and I am not afraid to let people dig deep into my personal life.

And also I think it is thoroughly stupid to post things online and then set your profile to private and disallow the public to view it.

It is like, dying your hair blond and curling it, but then when you go out, you put on a hat in fear that people would look at you weirdly and call you a Western chick wannabe.

I say, just do it. If you want the attention, make sure you are brave enough to handle it.

And not quiver in fear when something goes awry.

Or better, if you're afraid of the consequences, then don't post them online (which is like, the most PUBLIC place EVER) in the first place. Simple.

So today I woke up again at an unearthly hour of 1.30pm eventhough I slept at like, 10.00pm yesterday. Yes that is like 13 and a half hours straight don't ask me why I don't even know what is wrong with me.

Probably going to Edufair at Mid Valley yesterday gave me some perspectives regarding my life.
And that is: I am not rich. But of course, neither am I poor.

But like my Mum put it, if I am looking to enroll in a private college or university, "You know we can't afford it."

And then I found out that not many private big shot colleges offer full scholarships to SPM leavers who obtain good grades for SPM.

And worse, most of them offer full scholarships only to people who get 11As and above.

And of course I am not entitled to such good fortunes, given the fact that I only took 10 subjects for my SPM.

And even if I did take 11, would I be good enough to score perfect As for each subject?

No, because I didn't try hard enough for my SPM, and I know I am going to regret it when they announce our results in March later but seriously I am trying very hard not to think about that right now so can we just not talk about it. MOVING ON.

And most of the tuition fees exceed like tens of thousands and I am pretty convinced that a big part of the students who go to private colleges are just very rich people's kids, rather than very smart kids.

I am not talking about you la, but if you are those kids, then YES I am talking about you.

But if in the end, you make more money and earn more respect than me in your life, then you can come back to shoot me or smack me in the head with a swordfish or whatever.

So bottom line, if I am looking into enrolling in private colleges, I can kiss my dream goodbye.

But thankfully, I don't have that dream, so it wasn't such a big blow to me when I realised I cannot afford it.

I only want to be able to get into a fairly well known college/university, local, since then I can afford it, and then pursue whatever I want to do from there la.

I don't really mind having to go to a local college and not get all the nice big facilities as those that are offered in private c and u, I just want to be able to study and graduate la.

And I really, really don't want to resort to Form 6 because I know STPM has its pros and stuff, but really, if given a choice, I would much rather not do Form 6.

Because I seriously don't want to have to go through the whole Kapten Titiwangsa, President of English Club and bla bla bla again. I know in c and u I would also have these things, but it would be different than in HIGH SCHOOL right.

And also I think PA sounds like a very boring subject. So I really dread having to learn it, which I would definitely have to, if I were to go to Form 6.

But then if all else fails, of course I would be doing Form 6 la. Or not what? Waitress ar? No thank you.

So I guess it all depends on my SPM results lorh.

Super sian.

Where is everybody anyway?

I woke up today to an empty house, and I haven't even got a phonecall from any constituents of the Tan household. And I, of course, refuse to call them because then they would just boast to me about wherever fun place they are at at the moment and tell me that it is my own problem that I cannot be there as well for waking up so late in the first place.

Hello. 1.30pm very late meh.

Anyway, I got no constructive stuff to post here today la, but at least you read till here right.

Grrr I am in a foul mood.

Adioh.