I just don't GET people one loh.

In August, my Mum and my Aunts decided to go for a trip to Australia. Coincidentally, the date that they had chosen for this holiday clashed exactly with my SPM trial exams. Obviously I was crushed right. But then after a few days or something I decided I didn't want to go and would stay for my exam.

But then while these happy people who weren't weighed down with stupid trials exams went around happily deciding what they were going to do in Australia, blithely ignoring how pissed I was that they were being so LOUD talking about a trip I wasn't participating in, I got really, really mad.

I was so SUPER mad that they were so selfish, that at night when I went to bed, I cried. There was a blog entry about this, about how upset I was that everyone was going to Australia but I wasn't, but the reason I cried was NOT actually because I wasn't going for the holiday, but because in my mind I was going, How can they be so mean? And selfish? I am RIGHT here and they are discussing Australia while happily GRINNING AND LAUGHING AND EXPECTING ME TO GRIN AND LAUGH BACK TOO.

I admit when I wrote the post, I wanted sympathy. I wanted people to feel bad for me, and I wanted people to comfort me. I wrote that I cried at night when everyone had gone to sleep, but that only happened once. And the reason I cried was because they were being SELFISH, not because I had to forgo the trip to Australia.

So in a way I kind of twisted the truth and wrote about how upset I was just so people would sympathise with me more.

Somehow the event of how I cried at night reached my Mum and she decided to book an air ticket for me to go to Australia because she felt super guilty. So then of course, I asked her how come she suddenly felt guilty and she said because she knew I had been crying at night.

I got really mad. Because, well, in a way I was embarrassed, but also I was pissed of who told my MOTHER stuff I wrote on my blog? I thought my Mum had gone to my blog on her own but she said someone told her about it.

I know the person who told people that I cried at night was really just trying to be nice and all. And I'm not mad at that person. I was not mad at that person, really. I was just mad that my Mum didn't even try to hide the fact that she KNEW that I had been crying at night, and told it straight to my face.

It was almost like, you see someone who's boobs look uneven and then you hear from your other friend that the person with the uneven boobs had a boyfriend who chopped off her boobs while they were sleeping at night but then you still go up to the person with uneven boobs and say, "I am sorry to hear about your ex-boyfriend chopping your boobs. Here, I've got an orange for you to stuff into your bra." as if the person with the uneven boobs is not embarrassed enough.

GET IT??????????? You don't go up and SAY things like that to people. I was EMBARRASSED to admit that I cried at night, that was why I wrote it in my blog and not go around telling people. But then now my MOTHER came up to me and told me she knew I had been crying.

And the worse part? SHE TOLD EVERYBODY about it. As if I was not embarrassed enough. First, this thing about me crying went to my MOTHER'S SIDE of the family, but thank God no one talked to me about it. At least, YET.

And then later I heard my MUM telling it to my FATHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY. IN MY PRESENCE. I was like WTF? What the hell was she trying to do??? As if I was not embarrassed enough, now she was SPREADING to the whole world.

I really didn't know how to face anyone after that. What would they have thought of me? This WHINY little freak who cries just because she has to sit for trial exams and forgo a trip to freaking Australia and GOD she is already 17 years old for Heaven's sake!?

Because that's EXACTLY what one of my uncle thinks of me. I tell you, I was already embarrassed enough as it is, did he HAVE to RUB IT IN MY FACE?

It happened like this:

When we were having breakfast one morning, he told me that I wasted my Mum's money for not going to Australia since she already bought the ticket.

I told him that I never ASKED her to buy the ticket for me.

He said, "What, you go around crying that's why your Mum bought it for you. EVERYBODY KNOWS IT."

I really felt like PUNCHING HIS FACE.

1) I did NOT GO AROUND CRYING. I wrote it in my BLOG. NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT IT TOO, but somehow WORD LEAKED. Was that my fault?

2) I didn't even let SHOW that I was upset by this. Around everyone, I was just smiling and telling them to buy me souvenirs and to take loads of pictures and heck, I was even JOKING with them.

3) IT WAS NONE OF HIS FUCKING BUSINESS.

4) Why did he have to RUB IT IN MY FACE??? What would he GAIN from that? Why couldn't he just SHUT THE FUCK UP and pretend that he didn't know anything about this???

5) I was also ANGRY and SHOCKED because now I found out ANOTHER person knew about how I cried at night.

I tell you, ever since that day, I have developed this huge HATRED for him. I don't even want to go to his house for lunch or dinners anymore. Anything that would require his presence I try not to attend. Because I'm afraid I would actually kill him if I was placed in close proximity to him.

And another thing, he calls me FAT, FATTY and every other word that means fat to address me. What could I do but to just laugh and then pretend that I am not affected? AS IF HE IS VERY SKINNY LA NOW. GOD. If you have this kind of uncle you tell me la, YOU ANGRY OR NOTTTTTTTTT.

I know I am FAT okay. I don't need to be REMINDED OF IT BY YOU, A FELLOW FAT PERSON. Honestly, I also think you are a very stupid man. How would you like it if I addressed you as STUPID everytime I see you? You are entitled to your opinion SO AM I. You think I'm fat, I think you're STUPID AND FAT. So can I call you that??? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I cannot. Because you are SENIOR. And I have to respect you and just gobble up ANYTHING bad you say about me.

Why can't he just CONSIDER MY FEELINGS once in awhile? I know he is just trying to be funny, but doesn't he get it that when you keep telling someone the SAME JOKE over and over, it just becomes NOT FUNNY anymore??????

All this while I have been very respectful and civil to him, because I know he is senior and I should respect him. That is why I am writing this in my BLOG. Where he will NOT REACH. So I urge you readers to please DON'T go around spreading what I write in my blog, unless I have stated in the post to do so.

Respect my privacy please. I know my blog is not exactly a very private place, but at least if you don't SPREAD the stuff that I asked to keep private, then it will remain as private as it possibly can.



PS> Deep down, I know my uncle actually loves me very much. And he's just trying to make old man jokes. I know that he is not as bad as I depict him to be in this post, but really, I just WANT to write this down. It hurts me alot, about when he made fun of how I cried at night and also about how FAT I am. And I probably wouldn't mean what I say here anymore in a few days, but right now, this is from the bottom of my heart.