Don't Touch Me.

I don't know why I am in such a bad mood today, but I am. I have never been so lonely before in my life. And it's not as if nobody invited me to go out or whatever, it's just I am not in the mood. My body aches like fuck shit, the weather is a thousand Degree Celcius, the internet is boring as fuck, and I can't even figure out what is this feeling that's been haunting me this whole day.
All I did the whole day today was eat, sleep, eat and then sleep back, with a few minutes of reading in between. I am so sick and tired of this routine and when I decided to walk around looking for something fun to do, I couldn't because my back hurts, my legs hurt, my thighs hurt and calfs hurt, my arms hurt, my whole body practically hurts.
I know there is no one to blame for all this stupid aches I'm having and maybe that is why I am in a fucking bad mood. I don't even look forward to celebrating Chinese New Year anymore.
This is the first day of the CNY holidays and I already feel like shit. WHY? Because all my family members have either been robbed by someone else, or are leaving me alone. I am so pissed right now. I hate the weather, I hate my aches, I hate this feeling I have, I hate everything.
I feel so childish but I am so depressed and angry. And I don't even know why. Maybe it's PMS.
I don't even KNOW what I want to do right now. I feel so soaked in sweat and I want to take a bath. But when I stand up, immediately ALL my aches in every part of my body hit me, and I wince in pain. Even as I am typing this, my upper arms hurt like hell. Maybe I will go to sleep, since that is the only time I will not be moving, and thus my aches will be felt at the most minimal.
But I CAN'T sleep. I spent three whole quarters of today sleeping already. And even when I try to go to sleep, I can't. I have alot of things to worry about. And I hate thinking about my problems as much as I hate feeling the aches. I can't even play my guitar, because that means I will have to move and that hurts.
I feel like dying. I miss all my friends and I miss seeing people smile. I miss my own smile. The house is so empty right now, it is so quiet and even though I am safe in the comfort of my own room, I do not feel comfortable at all.
I do not know what has gotten into me. I am very confused right now. I don't believe half the things people tell me anymore. I am feeling very paranoid. I hate it when I can't find the truth in something. I really hate it.
I make mistakes sometimes by saying things I don't even mean. Or maybe I did mean whatever things I said, but only at that moment. I am not even sure. Gosh. I hate this feeling.
I want to go to sleep. I want to sleep until this fucking aches and fucking doubts I have disappear.
Ciao.