It was a lonely and quiet drive home. As was customary, he arrived at the compound of my housing area, right in front of my front gates and stopped under the big umbrella tree. He put the gear to P, advanced the hand brake and unlocked the door.
If this were before, I'd complain non-stop about how the day was too short, how I didn't want to disembark from the car, how much I'd miss him after he had gone home and he would tenderly pull me into his arms for a gentle kiss.
In times like this, our passion would ignite and a peck would turn tenderly into a French and our hands would begin to explore each other; to embrace one another into a tight passionate hug. While our tongues played with one another, our bodies would be pressed closely together, blossoming our love and deepening our affection for each other...
But that was before.
Yesterday, I didn't know if I was allowed to initiate such move. After all, we weren't in that type of relationship anymore. Invisible boundaries had been erected and I had to refrain from throwing myself onto him for his loving again...
I subtly mentioned that I didn't want to get down from the car because, as I thought it wasn't a romantic move, it should be acceptable for me to say such a thing.
However, after that, out came the words from his mouth which blanketed my shrivelling heart and supplied it with immediate warmth:
"Can you give me a hug?"
I was taken by surprise at his request because while I sat unmoving in my seat, I was also actually contemplating giving him, before I disembarked, a last kiss. On the lips.
Slowly, I approached him and placed my hands tightly around his neck. He resigned to the hug but, without being fully-conscious, I realised I had placed my lips onto his. I gently touched my lips to his and immediately I felt all the love and affection I had for this man return to me in a rush!
He didn't push me away, nor did he kiss me back.
He merely sat allowing my lips to rest upon his, and until he vaguely saw movement outside the car window, he gently withdrew.
The kiss lasted for only a second, but I was already losing control.
"Give me a hug," he repeated and I obliged, this time making sure only my arms were around him, and my lips weren't on his, or in anyway nearing his.
I wrapped my arms around him, placed my lips perfectly at the side of his neck and inhaled deeply the scent from him I missed so much.
Remembering last time, with every hug, my head would fit perfectly against his long slender neck, and my lips would rest on his warm skin. Every moment or so, I'd give his neck a gentle peck. He used to enjoy this and it was my special way of showing affection for him.
But this time, I refrained from kissing him. My lips merely rested on his neck, not moving, and certainly not kissing.
He tightened his arms around my back and I felt encouraged to show him more of this pent-up affection I had for him, to let him know that my love for him still stood...
When we both withdrew from the hug, I held on to him and looked into his eyes...
"Kiss me," I said gently, not believing that those words had actually come out from my mouth.
He didn't respond so I approached my lips to his, and again, I merely softly placed them there, nudging the soft flesh...
Once again, he merely stayed put and didn't return my kiss.
Suddenly conscious to his form of reply, I hurriedly said goodbye and left before my tears fell.
Jo-Yee
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